4/24/24 - 2039: Be the Answer to the Foster Care Crisis

Jim: You've tuned into iWork4Him, the Voice of collaboration for the Faith and Work Movement.

Martha: And we are your hosts, Jim and Martha Brangenberg. Our mission is to transform the workplace of every Christian into a mission field. What does that look like in your workplace? Let's find out right now.

Jim: When Martha and I launched iWork4Him in 2013. God launched it. Her dad, Ted Hains came up to me and said, Jim, I get the whole iWork4Him thing. I did that, but I don't iWork4Him anymore. iRetire4Him.

That one conversation launched a whole new brand that Martha and I steward called iRetire4Him. Over the last several years we've released over 110 podcasts under that name with my 82 year old co host Bruce Bruinsma from the retirement reformation. We have covered a host of topics related to living out our faith in our retirement. We say: When you retired, your calling didn't retire. If you have a pulse, you have a purpose. And if you're not dead, you're not done.

The whole premise behind iRetire4Him is recognizing that retirement isn't a 30 year vacation before you die. It's another phase in life where you have the freedom to pour your life into a place where you're passionate without worrying about the paycheck.

Today we wanted to draw your attention to our iRetire4Him podcast and to engage a whole new generation of workers to this idea and present a possible way you could spend your life energy and service to the kingdom during those retirement years. Cindy King comes back to us today from the Keystone Family Alliance.

She's here today to give us an introduction to retirement, to wrap around grandparenting. Welcome back, Cindy.

Cindy King: Thank you very much

Jim: You know when we got to spend time with you last year late last year and sharing time at your church and sharing time with people that are quote unquote retired at your church, we had so much fun. And we want to say thank you for hosting us. It was fun. Just to see all of those prepping for retirement and living in retirement going. I love this. There's purpose for us in retirement. And we don't talk a lot about retirement on iWork4Him because it's iWork4Him, but it's good for people to know. Hey, we're not done when we get to retire. In fact that retirement thing not biblical and it's pretty much an american thing, a western thing for sure.

But, Cindy, as we talked a couple of weeks ago about the state of the foster system in the united states and really the tough shape that it's in, why don't you just give a review for our listeners that maybe missed that podcast a couple weeks ago? What did you tell us about the state of the foster system?

Cindy King: So the state of the foster system is that first of all, the government does not make a great parent. So that, that should tell us a lot right there. Caseworkers, they're overworked, they're burnout, they're walking into some very difficult situations. We need our caseworkers to stay in the job. We need them to have consistency for the kids. But I think the biggest thing that we always talk about is the lack of families, the lack of foster families. And the fact that foster families turn over so quickly.

So we know that 50 percent of foster parents are going to quit before the first year. 90 percent will not continue past the second year. And that's not saying that these are bad people. It's not saying that they were not supposed to step into fostering. It's saying that this is a difficult calling as we talked about last time. And they feel alone. They feel unsupported. And they just can't continue.

Martha: Which is just so amazing because they actually spend a lot of time becoming foster parents. So this whole process to go out of it so quickly is so heartbreaking because they've invested a lot of time and their own energy in becoming licensed and doing all those proper things.

So one of the things that you really focused on was becoming a foster parent or adopting a child is an overwhelming effort. And not every day, but many of the days that is the case. And you mentioned in our previous podcast that there is one solution that could offer help and encouragement for those new families that might be entering the foster system. And we alluded to that a little bit. Tell us what that is.

Cindy King: Yeah, so I just said that 50 percent will not continue past the first year, 90 percent will not continue past the second year. We can flip that statistic if we can do one thing, if we can put a structured team of people around that foster family. Here in Pennsylvania with Keystone Family Alliance, we call them care communities. I know you call them wraparound grandparenting, but putting a team of people around to support, to pray for, to encourage and to actually do some work to help that family, 90 percent will continue past the second year.

Jim: All right. So tell us about the role of this care team. Like we said, wraparound grandparenting, that was the idea for the retired folks, but obviously the care team doesn't have to be retired or grandparent age. Tell us about that care team. What are some of the things that they do?

Cindy King: Yeah, so we use trainings and the system that has been created by an organization called Promise Serves, and that team has at least four to five people on it, and we really should say units because it can be an individual, a couple, a family, and the structured part of it is that one person on that team serves as the team leader, and the purpose there is that foster parents already have a lot of things they need to do.

They need to schedule extra doctor's appointments and therapy appointments, and they have to figure out the schooling situations. If a child has just come into their home, maybe from a different school district, they have to plan visits, and they have to coordinate how they're going to get to those visits, and As we talked about last time, because of the lack of foster families, sometimes those children's families are outside of the county or farther away, so they might have to travel.

So all the things that they already have to do. Then we're going to add, we don't want to add, having to stay in touch with the team. So the team leader's job is to stay in touch with the foster parent, connect with them weekly or every other week, and then go back to the team and say, here's how we can pray for this family, and here are the needs.

Somebody else on that team is going to agree to be a mentor to the child. So that can be as unique as the child and as the mentor. I have one care community that the mentor is an educator. So she shows up once a week for homework help and mentoring. Sometimes that person helps with transportation, but they also know that their role is, while they're driving to and fro, to be mentoring the child.

As we talked about last time, the research tells us it just takes one caring adult, but what if there's two or more? So there's the foster parent and now there's the mentor. We ask that somebody in the group do whatever they need to do to be able to provide child care for the foster children in the home.

So with some agencies, that might mean that they need to have their clearances. They might have to do some training so that they can be in the home and alone with the child. And then we ask that somebody on the team make sure that family gets one meal a week on the night of the family's choosing.

So if they say they want it on Thursdays, then every Thursday night that family is going to get a meal provided. It can be delivered, it can be homemade, it can be bought, it can be whatever that looks like. And what we tend to find is that the roles are not as distinct. It might be that everybody on the team takes a turn so that they're only making one meal a month, or maybe a couple people are providing child care together, or I know some situations where it might be a special event and the whole team shows up and they pay for the family to go out, for the parents to go out to dinner for a date night, while they all watch the children at home.

So it can be, there are so many creative ways to support a family, but it's that team leader who's making the connection and coordinating things. So if they call and they, and the foster mom says, you know what, we've had a really busy week with appointments and we've had a lot of challenging behaviors. We've not been able to get outside to mow. Then maybe that team might show up one day that week and mow the lawn for them. They can do so many things to serve the family.

Jim: What I love about that is that you're talking about the church being the church to the family And you're really, you're not putting that burden on one person. You're having a group of people, as you call them, a care team. What I love about the fact is we talked about a lot on iRetire4Him, and we do talk about this a lot on iRetire4Him, is that the reason we call it wraparound grandparenting is that retired people have time, when they're not playing pickleball and tennis and looking for seashells or golf, they've got time.

They've got time to come babysit. They've got time to provide an extra meal. They got time to do road trips, to take kids to appointments or whatever. They've got time and flexibility to make that life as a foster parent or a newly adopted parent a lot easier so that it's a doable thing. Cindy, when, a care team comes alongside somebody that's fostering, how did the numbers change from 50 percent getting out of the first year and 90 percent getting out by the second year? If you wrap a care team around them, how does that change the numbers?

Cindy King: So it changes that second year number at that 90 percent will continue past the second year.

Jim: It flips it on its head.

Cindy King: Flips it on its head. Yeah. And the other area where it's so important, then we're seeing this more and more across the country, and that is kinship care. Kinship care is a little different than foster parenting in that a grandparent might get a call one day saying, Hey, we have your grandkids here in custody. You either take them or they're going into the foster care system.

So here we have people that didn't feel a calling for a couple of years, and didn't go through the training, and they were not prepared for this. But it was a one day phone call. This can be grandparents, it can be aunts and uncles. I know here in Pennsylvania, across the state, 30 to 40 percent of grandparents are raising their grandchildren. So yeah. And we have, obviously some counties are a little higher, but that, yeah, that statistic was astonishing to me that it's that high. But there's two main reasons. And one is the opioid crisis and the other is incarceration.

And the amount of times that they'll come out and go back in, we just don't have good programs here to help rehabilitate so that they can come out and be able to parent so that, that population really has my heart because.... so they have a choice. They can sometimes go through the foster care system, which has its own pros and cons but if they're not through the foster care system, then there is nothing for them. And so we really need to wrap around them and support them and walk alongside of them.

Jim: So training, to be part of that care team, to be part of, be a wraparound grandparent or - Is there training? I mean does keystone family alliance provide that training? Or does the state provide? Who's providing that training?

Cindy King: So through Pennsylvania's Keystone Family Alliance, that training is, there's a couple different parts to it. Because we work mostly through the local church. We would, so let's say we have a foster family that is really struggling, or even they've just started their journey, and we say, great, we want to support you, we want to help you do this longer and stronger. So we're going to help get a care community around you.

So we'll go to the church and we will ask them to find somebody that we call the advocate. And that person is going to go through a training that it's several hours long. So there's some training they're going to do on their own at home, watching some videos, answering some questions. And then there's some training they're going to do that's virtually I think one or two evenings a week, and that gives them the skills they need to create the care communities and, help them continue, gives them access to resources and a website. Then under them, we have the care communities.

And so anybody that's going to be on a care community goes through a one hour training. And we either do them virtually through our website. You can register there. So we do them virtually, usually once a month, or if a county coordinator, so we work at the county level, if the county coordinator has several families that are ready to go to be on a care community, then they can just, they can go to the church and they can train them there.

So yeah, there's about, it's about a one hour and 15 minute training. Yeah, talks about the foster care system. It talks about some challenges and some behaviors you might see. Talks about confidentiality. Talks about what kinds of clearances you might need to have and that kind of thing.

Martha: I love that you've put together training that really, it sounds like best practices, things that you may not know, or you need to be aware of to just launch these groups into the right direction. And, when we speak of training, there are certain things that I love to utilize so that I don't have to do the training for the things, that there are experts already out there that I don't have to, so I can use my time to learn other things. And one of those things is that we use SaferNet to protect our internet.

And SaferNet, dot com is the place where you can go and learn more about what they do, but there's so much that they do behind the scenes to protect us in our work. It doesn't require us to do any training. We just need to know how to use their service and allow their program to do the work for us. So check out SaferNet today and let them do the work for you. That's SaferNet. com

Jim: Love that. All right. So tell us a story. We're running out of time, but I want to make sure we cover some stuff here in the next 10 minutes. Give us a wraparound grandparent or a care team story of a success story.

Cindy King: I have a particular church that has a number of care communities in their congregation. I love their creativity in caring for families. So they will do some things like during the season. So let's say Halloween. Carving pumpkins can be a mess. So they will call the family and they will say, you know what, we're not going to make you clean up the mess. We're inviting you to one of the homes of the care community. Come to our place. The mess will be at our place. You get to take the pumpkins home afterward. We'll clean up. We'll provide the snacks. We'll help wrangle the kids during the activity. We're going to do this together.

Christmas, either if you like to wrap gifts, we'll come and take the kids somewhere so that you can wrap gifts. If you don't like to wrap gifts, we'll show up and wrap the gifts, and we'll give you a gift card so you can take the kids somewhere else for the evening. There are just some really creative things like that. I also say to people, we're not asking you to learn a new skill to be on a care community. What is it that you're already doing?

And with the wraparound grandparenting idea, what I love with that is, you talked about having time, but they also have experience. What is it that you can bring to that mentoring relationship? Or, I know somebody who in his retirement, he enjoys doing yard work and so he's on his own found some, I believe he does this for a lot of widows. He will do their yard work. What a great opportunity for him to also do this for foster families. So what is it you're already doing? What is it you love to do? And bring that into a care community. Bring that into wraparound grandparenting.

Jim: There are so many ways to show God's love. And this wraparound grandparenting idea, being part of a care team for somebody who's, for a family that has decided to go all in to being a foster family, it's such a great way to show God's love.

Another way that we know, or have learned to share with our listeners, is it's hard just to share one resource. But let me point you to the iWork4Him Power Thoughts. Every day iWork4Him produces a one minute radio program, goes out across the airwaves, but also gets put on your favorite podcast platform. And on our Facebook page. We'd love to just invite you to check out our iWork4Him PowerThoughts.

I found out just the other day that one of my friends that I've had, friends for 40 some years, every morning that's the first thing he listens to, the iWork4Him PowerThoughts. It's a challenge for your day for living out your faith at work.

Martha: It's a fun resource. So Cindy, do you think if we could raise up an army of wraparound grandparents in the United States that this foster system could be alleviated of the pressure that you were sharing with us earlier?

Cindy King: Oh, definitely could alleviate pressure. I think everybody that steps up alleviates pressure for one person, and if we each did that, yes, what a difference we could make.

Jim: How can our local church set up this kind of care team mentality? The mentality of, let's encourage fostering, but not, let's just raise up a couple families to foster. How do we raise up a dozen families to support two families fostering? How do you get that started? Because we're not in Pennsylvania, so we don't have you to help us out.

Cindy King: You can look because there are more of us out there in different states, but I think that, first of all, it starts from the pulpit with messages on the biblical mandate to care for vulnerable people.

And so if we can start there and we can also have conversations about living like Jesus. What did that look like? What was his life like? How, what did it look like as he would approach somebody or as he would meet with somebody? He would walk into the mess. He did not expect them to come to him. He came into our brokenness at Christmastime.

I think that's a perfect time to be talking about it. Or Easter. The fact that he gave his life and so we can give our time and our resources and our energy and we can give that even when it's messy. And so I think it starts there and then once there is a culture of service and caring for the vulnerable, then I think we can start to have conversations and bring people in, bring caseworkers in to talk about the, what it looks like in the foster care system and start to break some hearts.

And what we have found is that not only do care communities help the foster parents, but it is not unusual for somebody to be on a care team for a year or more and then say, you know what? I think I could do this fostering thing if I had a care team around me. So I'm going to take that next step into being a foster parent.

Martha: Wow, that's awesome to see how that infiltrates their lives in such a deeper way. That's just amazing. I love that. So let's talk about that just for another minute, because for the care team, the wraparound grandparents, tell us some of the things they're saying as they get involved, and they're reaping some benefits themselves that they may not have ever imagined.

Cindy King: First of all, their eyes are being opened. I think a lot of us, if you're not in the system, you have no idea. You have no idea the challenges within the system. You have no idea what that looks like when a family gets a call and then an hour later there's a child arriving at their door. We have a story of a family that got the call, three or four children showed up at the door. About the same time the children showed up, the care community showed up with a meal.

And for this particular care team member, he was new to being on the care team, and he drove in and saw these three kids who, wide eyed because what just happened to them. They don't know. They don't understand. It doesn't make sense. Here they are in this place they've never seen before. New people, new things, new house, new everything.

And so as he watched that unfold, his comment was actually, I feel like I'm not doing much at all. I'm just bringing a meal, but the family was able to say, Oh, you don't understand. This meal says to us: we're gonna make it. We can make it through the night. But then he was also able to say okay, so what else can I do? And in that particular situation they now had three kids that all needed to go to three different schools the next day. And so yeah, he started to help with transportation and by the time that family was no longer fostering that child, that man and his wife were starting the process to be foster parents.

Jim: That's fantastic.

Cindy King: The blessings are the usual ones of serving others. You find that the blessing is more yours or as much yours but also the blessings of walking into that calling that God has for you. There's just such joy there and more blessing as well.

Jim: The reason... I'm speaking to our listeners for a second, the reason we wanted to bring this up, we wanted to spend a couple of weeks talking about the foster system right now, is that it is in such a mess. And this is the calling of the church. And when the church stopped stepping up, the government had to kick in and the government doesn't quite do things as good as us as individuals can do. And it costs 15 times more. There's a desperate need. There are kids out there in every state desperately needing to be placed with families who love Jesus, who can love on them and eventually love them to Jesus.

That's not a guarantee, but it sure is a possibility. And we wanted to make sure that you guys saw that it wasn't just that you had to be a foster parent or an adoptive parent, but that you could wrap yourself around a foster parent or somebody that's recently adopted because somebody that's recently adopted, whether they adopted a foster child or somebody just adopted a new child, they need the same kind of care because it's a journey.

We've seen it as all of our kids have walked along the side of that. We just want to encourage you to get involved locally, get your church to start asking these questions. And if you need to ask more questions, just talk to Cindy at Keystone Family Alliance, Cindy at keyfam. org. You can send her an email or you could always get ahold of us and we'll connect you to Cindy, but please consider this.

This is a serious need in our country. And every one of us can answer this call. Cindy, you get the last one minute of the show. Any final thoughts, things you want to share with our audience before we say goodbye?

Cindy King: I just want to reiterate that we at key fam like to say everyone can do something. What's your something? We're not asking you to learn a new skill. We're not asking you to be trained in something that you have no interest in so that you can help a child. We're asking you, what do you already have in your hands? What experiences do you have? What gifts? What joys? What passions? And how can you bring that into the life of someone else to help them on their journey? And you'll find that your journey is better for it as well.

Martha: What is your something? So iWork4Him listeners, this is a challenge. You probably know somebody who is fostering right now or in an adoption situation that you can support them and lift them up today. What are you going to do? What's your something?

Jim: Thank you, Cindy King at keystone family alliance. Check her out online keyfam dot o r g. You've been listening to iWork4Him with your host Jim and Martha Brangenberg. We're Christ followers. Our workplace, It's our mission field, but ultimately iWork4Him!