11/6/24 - 2067: Empowering Military Families

Jim: You've tuned into iWork4Him, the voice of collaboration for the faith and work movement.

Martha: We are your hosts, Jim and Martha Brangenberg, and our mission is to transform the workplace of every Christian into a mission field. What does that look like in your workplace? Let's find out right now.

Jim: There's this famous song from Annie, the musical. It's a hard knock life. Now her life was hard, but she wasn't a military spouse, was she? Most of us never really consider how hard the life of a military spouse is, do we? Sometimes their spouses get deployed to who knows where and sometimes they don't come home. Ever. Sometimes military spouses get to move on base with their spouses, but then what? How do they get a job? Because they're always on the move and what if their spouse who is in the military makes a career out of it? Every two years, they're on the move. Talk about some real challenges.

But what we know about military families is that they're hardworking americans fighting for freedom. Don't they deserve a break? Brett and Mary Elain Baker thought so. As a former military family, they saw the challenges experienced by military families and decided to innovate a kingdom corporate solution that benefits the military spouses and companies around the country.

VAUSA is the solution, and Brett and Mary Elaine are here to share their story and the solution they call VAUSA, online at HireVAUSA. com. Brett and Mary Elaine, What's your Jesus story? We want to start off with your Jesus story. We're going to cover the story of VAUSA, but we always want to start off with how did you meet Jesus? So Brett, why don't you lead us out?

Brett Baker: Jim and Martha, I appreciate you having us here. So for me, I grew up in the church and I was first saved when I was in sixth grade. But for most of my life, I didn't act that faith out. I wasn't pursuing a relationship with my Savior. And honestly, those teenage years were very rough for me.

And so it was a slow progression for me, falling out of the faith and coming back. But the biggest catalyst came when I was 24 and my daughter was born. And honestly, she's been a catalyst for so many things in my life of just trying to get myself together to start living a life that a father should be setting that example for her.

That's really when I started really trying to pursue my Savior and living a life that matched the faith that I claimed and then it has been a slow progression for me since then. And then there was a point in my thirties, a lot of it sparked by this business, where I really felt that I wasn't serving other human beings the way I should be. I was still living very much for myself. And this business kind of helped showed me the impact that we can have when we really are intentional about trying to pour into other human beings.

And so my faith has just gotten stronger every year. I credit a lot of that to our life circumstances in this business, but it's just, it's been a progression for me over the years and luckily my Savior never stopped pursuing me, even when I wasn't pursuing him.

Jim: That's for sure.

Martha: Amen. So Mary Elaine, what about you? What's your Jesus story?

Mary Elaine Baker: I also was very blessed to grow up in a Christian home. My parents were very consistent with being present in the church and making that a priority in our life. So that habit was established since I was a child. I became saved at eight years old at my grandpa's kitchen table. And I was baptized in my grandpa's hometown. We call him Papa. But much like Brett, I didn't quite understand what it meant to have a relationship with Jesus. And I went through pretty traumatic childhood circumstances that really left me very confused, especially by the time I was in college and I was independent for the first time in my life.

I felt so lost. I feel like a lot of college students feel lost and that is a normal thing. So I really, that was my first time that I could really process what was going on and I did not seek any healthy ways of processing at all. You could find me at the bar most days of the week, partying, at house parties, frat parties, and that's when I met my husband, now husband. That's when I met him, was whenever I was in probably one of the darkest and lowest places of my life, and that didn't really set us up for the strongest foundation in our marriage.

I always had faith. I never stopped believing in God or in Jesus. It was just that I felt so much confusion and shame and fear and guilt and to find comfort in all the other places, I was just chasing, I was just running away from God. And that led to a lot of just self destructive behaviors. And unfortunately, but also fortunately because that's such a huge part of our testimony and story, was that we met each other when we were both really just trying to pursue all the worldly things that we could pursue and very selfish way of living.

And no one thought that we would be here today with a healthy functioning business, a healthy functioning marriage, two thriving children, homeschooling and spending every single day together. Our lifestyle has transformed completely. But it could be nothing but God and our obedience to him and pursuing a life that we know that Jesus would have done.

Brett Baker: Yeah, if we can get it together, anybody can. I can assure you of that.

Jim: That could be one of our first episodes on iWed4Him, A new podcast we're considering. Or get the hell out of your marriage podcast. That's another one we're considering, so both of those would be appropriate.

Alright, so let's talk about your military. By the way, if the kids are homeschooled, and you're both with us, Who's taking care of them right now?

Mary Elaine Baker: Yeah. We're very fortunate.

Brett Baker: They're Free range kids. We just let them outside and they come back. (laughter)

Mary Elaine Baker: They're very independent children. Our youngest is 10 and our oldest is 13. So they could be fine for at least an hour.

Brett Baker: Our 13 year old can run this house herself.

Jim: All right. So now let's talk about the military. Brett, what branch of the military did you serve in?

Brett Baker: I was in the army.

Jim: All right. And how long did you serve?

Brett Baker: 13 years. I got medically retired in 2019.

Martha: That's awesome. Thank you for your service. I never want to fail saying that because it is such an important part of what keeps us all safe and we take it so much for granted. So thank you for that. So Mary Elaine, where did that leave you when Brett was out serving? Cause you were in special forces, right?

Brett Baker: I was in Special Operations. I spent my whole career with 1st Ranger Battalion, so yes.

Jim: So you went places you could never tell Mary Elaine where you were?

Brett Baker: I didn't talk about work very much. It didn't seem to be a constructive thing to do in my marriage.

Mary Elaine Baker: Yeah, there's a lot of just question marks for a lot of our marriage that I knew... I don't know. It was just a, one of those things that I just put in my head. If he's not bringing it to the table, then I'm not gonna ask.

Brett Baker: I don't know what you say. You know what I do, but when we're deployed, there's no, I'm not building bridges and winning hearts and minds. We go out and we go on killer capture raids on high priority targets. And that's not really something you share with your wife. Last night I went out and got shot at and drug some person out of their village.

Mary Elaine Baker: Yeah, I know his job description and that was enough for me to say, okay, I'm not going to watch the news and I'm not going to press for questions because it really didn't add any sense of safety or security. It was not going to add anything healthy for me when I was at home and couldn't control anything that was going on. So all I could focus on was my career and our children and keeping our home running, managing our household. And that was enough. That was about all I could really have room and space for anyway. And I just threw myself into being as busy as possible, which is common for a lot of military.

Brett Baker: And not hard when you're by yourself with two kids in a career. . She held our family together. Anytime I was gone, she held our family together. I can tell you, I saw plenty of families that didn't have that wife back home that was a rock and when you don't have that, I watched the marriages crumble. I watched the controversy overseas. I watched guys who couldn't keep their head on what we were doing because their family was falling apart back home, so I, I can't tell you how unbelievably thankful I am for how strong she was.

I was not the rock of this family, I was out there all over the world doing my thing. It was her keeping this family together, and it was remarkable to watch, especially looking back now, knowing everything that we went through.

Martha: We could spend an hour just talking about that because I think a lot of us just don't have even an awareness of what that looks like and the sacrifices that are being made on both fronts during a time of active duty, Mary Elaine, what was your career that you were doing during that time while during deployment and when you were running the home on your own?

Mary Elaine Baker: So I received my master's in education right before we got married. And so I was an elementary school teacher, primarily spent most of my time in fourth grade and I loved actual teaching. And I still love teaching. I homeschool my children now and it's funny because I said I would never homeschool, which doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but yes, I was in, I was an educator, still an educator, but I was in the public school system for the first five years of our marriage.

And that really led into a lot of why we started the business because living the high stress, fast paced lifestyle that we live with him being gone constantly, or if he's home, it's only for a blink of an eye and then gone again so constant go. On top of, I don't know how much you're aware, but teachers aren't paid enough. They're not given enough respect. They're not given enough gratitude. God bless our teachers because they need all the love and prayers that we can give them. Especially after 2020, but it, it was really wearing on me.

And that started, God started to really stir in me this, there's something else. There's something else. This is, you were meant to be here for a moment, but this isn't forever. And there is something else that you need to be doing. So I learned about virtual assisting my last year of teaching.

There's no coincidences. The room mom that was volunteering in my classroom was working as a virtual assistant herself, and we became friends. And the more she talked about it, the more I thought, I think I can do that. Why don't I just try it? So I tried it one summer and it was like a weight was lifted from our home.

Suddenly I had something that we never had. And that was flexibility and time freedom and more presence with my family, which was what we needed just so desperately. And once I took a sip of that, I was, I can't put me back. I cannot go back. And it was such an incredible blessing for our family. And I thought, okay, we found it. But then God had more surprises for us that it wasn't meant for just us.

Jim: Well and being a military spouse there's surprises all the time and I understand, I mean I really want to dig deep into that, but we'll dig deep that in the next segment. But while our military is out protecting our country, I mean who's protecting your data? That's what I want to know because data is important. Where are we without our data?

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In prepping for today's interview, you two, we talked about an hour, just catching up outside of the stage. We met at the u. s. Christian chamber event last April . You said a few very powerful things and one was while we were married and in the military, there wasn't a lot of conflict because I was never home. Brett you said that. But there was a lot of things not addressed . Talk to us about this because that's something a lot of people don't think about.

And it's not the story of VAUSA - online at hirevausa. com - it's really your guys's story, because there wasn't a lot of conflict because you weren't talking about stuff.

Mary Elaine Baker: And I know he has his own perspective on this, but for me and my experience, when he was gone, that wasn't the time to bring up things that were bothering me. Okay, I try very hard not to be a complainer in my life. I try very hard to stay focused on the highest priorities. And so while he was deployed, the highest priority for me was making sure that I wasn't an additional mental distraction or burden for him mentally because by the time we got off the phone, he had to go out on a mission.

So that I took that very seriously. I had to protect him. And that was one of the things that I did to protect him was to not try to enter into conflict related conversations while he was deployed. And there's so many different things that I've been trying to understand about the dynamics. Some would say that's healthy. That's great. I'm glad you did that. And I think it's a good thing that we did do that. But what it created in our relationship was this habit of not addressing issues.

When he came home, the reintegration, that is a, to me, that's the biggest challenge is the reintegration because here I was running my ship the way I wanted it to be ran, the way it needed to be ran, and here he came in as the head of our household, as the rock of our family, and even though he said I was a rock, truly, I believe he is the head of our family, the rock of our family, and so he would come in and assume his role, and that was very challenging because I'm like, wait a minute. You've been gone this whole time.

Who do you think you are coming in and taking charge on some of these things? So however, because I was so accustomed to not addressing things that I would pick my battles very wisely when he was home.

Jim: So Brett, were you, I don't know, Brett, were you aware that Mary Elaine was doing that for you?

Brett Baker: Yeah. So when I was deployed we were both very good about carefully choosing what things to communicate about because we didn't want to rock the boat. So I was aware then. When I was home, no, I was, there was a huge lack of self awareness of what was going on. And I can be rough on people, Jim. I can be hard to live with, and the family life is chaotic in that at work, being in the military in a command and control atmosphere, people do what you say, period. Children don't operate that way. (laughter)

Jim: Certainly. Is your 13 year old a girl? Oh, yeah. So you're at the epitome of our kids don't do what they say.

Brett Baker: Yeah. I had control issues and I have a quick temper. And I've been angry for as long as I can remember. And so these things would, they would poke their ugly heads out and kids don't do what you say all the time and you can't force them to and then you have this other adult human being that you're living with that you're trying to figure out how to communicate, so in some ways yes, I was aware and then other ways I wasn't. And I also wasn't aware for a long time of my tone and the things that came out of my mouth, and some of my behaviors.

Mary Elaine Baker: And I used to tell him Babe, I am not a, I am not your private, you can't talk to me like I am a private. And he wasn't even aware that he was doing that. I'm like, you can say that again in a different way and still get your message across. I promise.

Brett Baker: Yeah, no one's concerned about your tone at work. You can talk to people basically however you want. And the bottom line is a lot of the things that we do and a lot of it, to be honest with you, is behavior modification for young people in special operations. We're making them better gunfighters who are making them better warriors. We're not making them better husbands or fathers, unfortunately. And I just wasn't aware of a lot of it. I would be on edge and when I'm on edge, I get very aggressive. I'm very sharp with my words and this went on for years and it went on to the point I remember we had a breakdown period. And this was years later, right?

As I was getting out and I had come home for a while for the first time and, we hit a rough bump in the road. And I remember asking Mary Elaine, when I first realized how I was behaving, I asked her, I said, have I always been like this? And she said yes. And man, that hit heavy because I realized for years I had been talking and acting in certain ways that I was unaware, and I was unaware of the damage that it was doing to her and to my family. And so yeah, a little bit aware, Jim, a lot of lack of awareness as well.

Martha: So talk to us just briefly about what turned it around then, because now you guys are running a successful business together, like you said, together every day, all day, so obviously there's been a shift. What happened?

Mary Elaine Baker: I think he had to hit a low point for himself in that self awareness. When we were forced to spend more time together, and when his military career was slowing down, that's when things got really rough, as he was describing. And so, at that point, he had a choice.

Now that he was aware, what are you going to do about it? And, self awareness is, acknowledging it is just the first step. It's everything else, how you react to it, how you respond to it, that makes the difference between, are you going to rise above this? Or are you going to just say this is just how I am and just let it ride out that way?

Thankfully for me, I married someone that's not afraid to face the challenge. And he does love his family fiercely and will fight for them. And that meant facing those ugly things in the mirror, which was not enjoyable for either one of us because I also, because he went on that journey, I also had to go on that journey as well. So I know you won't mind me sharing this, but he went into counseling. And that was huge for his healing and really recognizing all of these things that were happening and also having someone equipped there that has navigated this with plenty of other people.

And I think counseling is not talked about enough. We need a trusted, educated Individual outside of the family that can help you help be a guide, whether it's a pastor, a counselor or a therapist, I think those people, or all of the above work. Yes, or all of the above. Yeah, your build your care team. That's a great care team right there.

Jim: So in all of this - you understand the military. You understand what it's like to be a military spouse. And all of this innovation started to bubble up and VAUSA was developed. What's the mission behind why you started VAUSA?

Mary Elaine Baker: As he was navigating all of that, we were going through this in our marriage, that's also around the time when I decided, we decided, Hey, this blessing wasn't meant just for us. This is meant to be shared and to teach other people how to do what we do so that they are able to have this blessing in their lives. So that was in the early stages and we were, both of us were like, okay, that was another, like you said, it was another catalyst for us to realize we have to get this figured out. We have to work on ourselves, because just like our family needs a solid foundation, our business needs a solid foundation. It isn't going to happen if not.

And through all of this, through his entire military career, me being a military spouse, I really think, I don't know the exact timeline, but it was all happening around the same time. We realized helping people get a job is just step one. What we were experiencing, not only the career side of things, but what we're experiencing in our marriage and in our family, that's where the ministry comes into what we're doing. We knew that we had to do so much more to help equip people, all these tools that we were creating in our marriage toolbox. We knew that we wanted to be, we wanted to provide those resources and be a vessel for that, for our team, once we got them a job.

Martha: I love this story because there's so much that God showed you through your own lives. And so it wasn't just us saying, we're gonna create this company and this system for prosperity purposes. There's so much heart behind it and through your own experience, and that takes real innovation that comes from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

And we love discovering companies that also like to innovate and use biblical perspectives. So I just want to encourage all of the listeners to scroll over to our sponsor page on our website to see some of the amazing innovators that we have discovered including Patriot Mobile and ePayments, but you can find all of that in the link that I will share in the show notes for your convenience, but it's really Kingdom at its finest.

Jim: So Brett, you were going to say something right before Martha went into sponsor mode.

Brett Baker: Yeah, I was just going to be a little more specific on how we transitioned to the business. So the military spouse unemployment rate is 21%. And so when we figured out, Hey, this is a great, this virtual assisting thing, this helping business owners and supporting them from home. When we figured out it was such a great fit for us, we felt God calling us to share that opportunity with other people. As we figured out that so many military spouses were facing this challenge and she called her best friend, another ranger wife, and she got on board and that's how it began.

We found another military spouse. We found another client. We started pairing them together. But as she alluded to, the job, which they can take anywhere, which is their biggest impediment to keeping work, that's just the vehicle. That's just the starting point for the mission oriented work that we wanted to do. Because what we believe is that God has uniquely positioned us to pour into these young military families to try to prevent the statistics that we hear about with the high divorce rate and the suicide rates and all the other issues.

But everyone's treating that downstream symptom. We're here to try to treat the upstream. And that's where we feel God has really called us, is our job is to pour into these people that we're here to steward and try to increase their ability to survive this lifestyle that is just so demanding and it's just destroying marriages constantly.

Jim: So you hire military spouses only, correct?

Brett Baker: Not only, If somebody is a values alignment and they are our type of people, we're going to bring them on. We don't turn away talented people, but the military spouse is where our heart is. That's where our mission is to create meaningful jobs in community around those team members.

Mary Elaine Baker: Our team is about 75 percent military spouses. We hover between 75 to 80%.

Martha: So I want to get into the logistics just a little bit because I want people to really see this. Like you said, I love that you said the job is the vehicle, right? To get that connection to them. So how do you actually help them outside of the the position, the job that they're getting, how are you then infiltrating into the, I know what it feels like to be where you're at because we've been there and how is the ministry happening? What does that look like? Just give us an example.

Mary Elaine Baker: So what we have really created was a way to meet them where they're at with their faith, in their family, with finances, fun, and and their health and fitness. So what we've done is figured out ways to create virtual opportunities to either educate them, help them during hardships, or give them opportunities, social opportunities to connect with other people around those topics. So for example we do offer a chaplaincy and that comes in especially during hardships. It's extremely important to have that person.

Brett Baker: It's been hugely impactful.

Mary Elaine Baker: Yes.

Jim: Corporate chaplains or marketplace chaplains? which one you working with?

Mary Elaine Baker: Corporate Chaplains.

Jim: Okay.

Mary Elaine Baker: Corporate chaplains, so we've had that in place for a few years and I was saying we have had a few salvations, which is incredible. That is like Capstone, oh my goodness. If the business shut down tomorrow, it was worth it. It was worth it for that. But to get to that point, you really have to create trust. And for us, it's all these other topics that I mentioned that If you show them with action by creating these resources. Next week, we're kicking off our first ever couples Bible study.

And we're really happy with the turnout on that. And we're excited for leading in that. But we also have financial education. So we offered a workshop on how to communicate around finances this year. We have educational opportunities on how to, sharpen their actual hard skills, their skill sets, which builds so much confidence in these military spouses who have either been out of the workforce for a while or have gaps in their resume. And what else?

Brett Baker: We've been doing Bible studies for a long time. They do book exchanges. We just launched a young mom support group because there's tons of people in our organization having babies. But I think it's two things. It's one, as leaders, we have to create these opportunities, create these spaces for our team members to thrive and to grow. But then it also comes down to getting the right people on your team. Because we're just casting the vision, creating the opportunities. It's the team members that are coming together that are supporting each other through these hard times that are making these initiatives really take off.

It really, everyone talks about culture. Culture is down to the lowest person taking on that mission on themselves and exemplifying it every single day. And the thing, military spouses, nobody can understand what they're going through other than other military spouses, and they are surrounded by their people. So when their husband's deployed and they're going through this hardship, there's 20 other people around them that are either going through it also or have been. And so I think a lot of it is just, we've got these great people on our team with these great values and they're championing this vision, this mission that we've created and really bringing it to fruition.

And I believe our job is just to create these spaces and these opportunities where these people can flourish and really be what God is calling them to be. And it's been remarkable to watch.

Martha: One of the things that I hear you say that I don't even know that you've articulated necessarily is the fact that the idea of having a job that can go with you, no matter where you're restationed and moved, but what you've also given them is a consistent community.

So every time they're moving or having to transition , that your team knows each other and knows what each other's going through. And I just see such huge value in having that established. Yes, you can still have your job wherever you go, but you still have trusted people that you can go to and talk to that understand what they're going through.

And that part of your mission is such a beautiful thing, because I can see how that is so valuable for all of your staff. I get very excited hearing about it because it fits such a need that people don't even realize exists. And doing it with purpose and intentionality and with kingdom in mind is such a wonderful thing.

Jim: Just a couple quick questions before we wrap up today. What kind of person should be going online to hirevausa. com and say, hey, I'm looking. I think I want to be a virtual assistant. Who should be checking you guys out?

Mary Elaine Baker: Oh, first of all, this person has to align with our values of authentic connection, selfless service, and intentional growth So those things just have to be lived out in their lives naturally and truly embody those three things So that's just step one. You've made it through the gate if you at least have that and you have the soft skills needed and you're naturally just detail oriented, organized you love technology, you know how to use basic business software and tools that most every single business uses. And then the rest of the more detailed job description and what we're looking for is available on our website. So I would say if you find yourself fitting that bill, then absolutely please go to our website and check it out.

Jim: What kind of clients are taking advantage of your va's, your virtual assistants?

Mary Elaine Baker: So we love working with faith and purpose driven businesses. So we really want to work with clients who are trying to use their business for a greater purpose and make a social impact or kingdom impact. Those are the types of people that we find really buy into our mission. They love God. They love country. They love supporting the military and they also know the value of their time and they know that they have to delegate in order to use their God given gifts to the maximum capacity.

Martha: You have learned a lot on your military journey that has helped you in your marriage, in your home, in your work. Any advice that you have right now for the military families that might be listening?

Mary Elaine Baker: First of all seek Jesus in every single thing that you're doing. I grew closer to God during those deployments. I was more consistent in finding that source of comfort during those times. And I really think that helped me tremendously be able to get through some of the scariest and hardest times of our lives and uncertain times.

I know right now my heart goes out to our military families everywhere because there is just so much uncertainty with all that's going on all over the world. So I just say, wherever you're at in your journey with Jesus, invest in that above anything else because you won't find comfort on the news, you're not going to find comfort in all the other people around you that seem to be freaking out.

Jim: So Brett, what about you? Speak to the military people. What kind of advice do you have for them?

Brett Baker: Your spouse is your partner in life. And Mary Elaine and I, we didn't have a real partnership for most of my time in the military. It's easy to say, Hey, we got 15 years left. The military controls everything about our life. We're just going to ride it out and get to the end. No, we can continue to dream together, to cast vision, to set goals. Yes, the military is going to have a lot of control over it. But that partnership of treating your family like a business and coming together and really getting aligned, what are our non negotiables? What are our values? What's our vision for where this company is going?

The business forced Mary Elaine and I to do that. And it's strengthened our marriage beyond belief. It would never have been to the point it is now without the business and but you don't need a business to do that. You just have to have the right mindset of saying, hey, we are going to live this life together as partners intentionally. We're going to goal set together and we're going to go out and crush this life together. And I think if you treat your marriage more of that partnership and you really pour into that partner of yours and figure out what are their goals and their dreams and how can we bring them to fruition together? I think you're going to see a really good change in your marriage because we certainly did.

Jim: Brett and Mary Elaine Baker, thank you so much for being on iWork4Him today. Thanks for sharing your story. Thanks for sharing VAUSA with our audience. For everybody out there listening, check them out online at HireVAUSA. com. Thank you guys, appreciate it.

Brett Baker: Jim and Martha, thank you for having us.

Jim: You've been listening to iWork4Him with your host, Jim and Martha Brangenberg. We're Christ followers. Our workplace, it's our mission field, but ultimately, iWork4Him.