iRetire4Him Show 119: How Health Affects Our Retirement

Jim Brangenberg: You're either retired or thinking about retiring. Why? Because everyone's doing it and because you were ready. You are definitely ready for a 30 year vacation. Either way, did anyone tell you that God may have a different plan for you when you retire? He may have a plan for you to transition from what you've been doing to serving right alongside him in a different way that you never expected.

You've tuned into iRetire4Him, the voice and resource of the Retirement Reformation. We invite you to check us out online and all the resources at retirementreformation. org and of course on our facebook page. Just look up Retirement Reformation. Bruce Bruinsma here today, the founder of the Retirement Reformation. He's back with us to share some wisdom on transitions. And I'm your host, Jim Brangenberg.

Transitions. They happen throughout our lives. We transition from the womb to living and breathing. We transition from preschool to elementary, middle, and high school. We transition from living at home to moving out, getting married, having kids. We transition from one job to another, and finally, we transition from working to retirement. But once we retire, are we done with transitions? No, we continue today in our three part series on transitions. Today we're going to focus on transitions we typically face while our health changes and maybe fades during our retirement years Bruce, health transitions are inevitable in our retirement years. How can we be prepared for them?

Bruce Bruinsma: Let's talk about that for a minute and then expand the bandwidth, if you wish, of the conversation in our last segment. In our last podcast, we talked about the three different stages, right? So each one of those stages can progress, very practically and very certainly, unless there is an event or events that occur that then interrupt and change the nature of the transition. And for example, if you're in good health and you're working through that active stage and now you go into that second stage, in fact, it can be, it will be a change.

It will be different. There will be challenges, but it is something that is fairly discernible. Now, right in the middle of all of that comes a health issue, and the health issues that impact us and that are important for us to realize are that we were then entering into a liminal period of transition, a liminal period of transition. Liminal means that time of in of transition when you know where you've been, but you're not sure where you're going. And it's in that period - and so it was helpful to me just to have a name to call that. So that when one of those things happens in the, as we talk about health events, when one of those occurs, you go, ah, this is a liminal period, and I'm going to be going through a transition.

A transition of what? First of all is understanding what's true when you're dealing with a transition and it is all muddy. Oh, man, the anxiety, the fear, all those things that then take control of you and at some level that this isn't what God planned for how you to deal with it, but you don't know what to do.

And so that opportunity, first of all, of finding out what's true. So for example in my particular case, two weeks ago my wife, Judy had a series of seizures. Never have had seizures in her life. We were going along, just had our plans out for the next, probably for the next eight months and we're just enjoying what we were doing, what God had planned us to do with the Retirement Reformation and in our travel and with her family and so on and then come boom on a Monday afternoon at 5 30 in the emergency room because Judy had been a little dehydrated.

We were there and they were discharging us. She got dressed. Says, do you want to go out and get something to eat? I said, yeah. And kaboom. She just had a seizure and flat on the bed. She was out for, oh, about seven or eight, seven or eight days and is still in the process of recovery.

One of the biggest pains I had was the last couple of days I had to go cancel all the meetings. The cars, the hotels, the speaking engagements, the things that we had all planned, that we were ready to go. Even going to a Rockies Dodger baseball game - all of those things had to be changed.

That was a, in the middle of the emotion of being concerned about your spouse, to be able to have to deal with those very practical realities of where the heck's the confirmation for the hotel in Fargo, North Dakota. Doggone, I can't find it. And when you're going through these events and being prepared for them, that you know that this is an event, it's going to be scary. It's going to be a, it's not going to be fun, but yet it is part of God's plan.

Matter of fact, somebody said to me at church on Sunday, he said, God doesn't waste pain. No, never. I had to think about that for a little bit. And so the opportunities to learn. And as I say to myself, as we finish these podcasts and I go back and spend the balance of the day with Judy, and part of my prayer is God, what is it that you want me to learn? What is it that you are teaching me? What is it you are teaching her? And what is it about our 62 years of marriage that in fact we need to build on during this event that is happening? So events, as I tell audiences, when we use the word event, I said, let me just translate that to you. Here's a simple version: stuff happens.

Jim Brangenberg: Yeah, it does. And you weren't ready for it yet. You and Judy are the most prepared people I know. You knew something eventually was going to happen and you've had your, you were financially prepared for it, but were you mentally prepared for Judy to be unconscious for multiple days?

Bruce Bruinsma: No. Two things. Number one is that we're in God's hands and it's his timing.

Jim Brangenberg: Yes, sir.

Bruce Bruinsma: So in that sense, yes. In the sense of an emotional reaction to the potential loss of a mate for 62 years. I would say only partially. Matter of fact, what surprises me and what has surprised me, if you can catch the little lump in the throat right now, is that during all of the events, talking to the doctors, staying in the hospital and all the stuff that was going on, I was always surprised that when the emotions of that struck me. Because it didn't seem to follow any kind of pattern.

But I could be talking to my grandson and boom, and there it would come. And so it's interesting to acknowledge the humanness that God has made us, the emotions that he gives us, and the ability to be able to draw strength from the Holy Spirit, to be able to literally take the next steps and to experience the fruit of the spirit when you're going through major pain of life. Now there's other kinds of events that are transitioned in these different life stages and in different times. I have a young man who's a friend of mine and he and his wife have experienced two stillbirths in the last year and a half. And just the pain of that, their expectations of the children that were going to be there and their names and then for them to be stillborn and God's plan from that. And so you have those kinds of examples. You have the examples of having a son or a daughter and finding out that they have down syndrome or they have Rubenstein syndrome as our son does.

And there's a transition that you go, Oh my. Goodness, I have no idea what this means. And so what am I going to do and how am I going to do it and how is that all going to work out? In our particular case took us 30 years to figure out what Brent was capable of doing and he's now 56 years old and do you know what happened, Jim? This is amazing. He's somewhere on the autism scale. And so that means it's really hard for him to make those emotional connections with people. And last week, when we were talking about his mom, it was the first time in 56 years that I've ever seen him cry.

The first time in 56 years. And so these transitional things that come out and you go, wow, and then another one was that he's a believer, but he has his limitations and understanding of his relationship to God and other people. And so he goes to church and so on. And so he said to me on the phone the other day, he says, dad, are you praying for mom? I said that I am, Brent. He says I am, too. And then in the group home that he lives with, the person who gives leadership to it was telling me a couple of days later that the other three men that live in that group home and the staff that support them every day, Brent went to each one of them said, Are you praying for my mom?

So there are these powerful moments, emotion based that give you insights that you would probably wouldn't ever get in any other way. So transitions, complexity of retirement. They will always be there, and you can begin learning now, regardless of whatever age you are, how do I embrace them, how do I respond to them, and what do I learn from them?

Jim Brangenberg: Bruce, I appreciate you sharing from your heart, and everybody also listening appreciates that. And we're grateful for that as you live this health transition that we're talking about today. We're going to take a break. We're going to come back with Dr. Jim Harrison, segment two, and just hear his heart as God's transitioning him in retirement to get back to work and then we'll finish up our conversation on transitions involving our health during retirement years. You're listening to iRetire4Him. We'll be right back.

Jim Brangenberg: Hey, welcome back to iRetire4Him. As our regular listeners know, every second segment of every show is always focused on the story of somebody living out their faith, either in their retirement years or somebody that would love to have retirees walk alongside them.

Today we go to Pensacola, Florida to my good friend Dr. Jim Harris, who is 71. And he's just getting started. Jim, welcome to iRetire4Him.

Dr. Jim Harris: Thank you, Jim. It's an honor to be with you and Bruce today. Thank you.

Jim Brangenberg: I hope you feel that way at the end of the interview for sure. So Jim, you're 71. You could be checking out, but when we first met a decade ago, God was just shifting your focus. You were doing the national speaking circuit and then, I can't remember, it was 15 or 16, you came up with this book called Our Unfair Advantage. Was that 15 or was that 16?

Dr. Jim Harris: It was nine years ago.

Jim Brangenberg: It was in 15. And that book, I remember telling you, Jim, this is so perfect, teaching people to work with God. But we got a bunch of retirees listening to us today, so I want people to hear your story because you could be quote unquote retired and checked out living on the beaches of Pensacola, Florida, but God's got you running harder now than ever before. Jim, what's a little bit of your story?

Dr. Jim Harris: Little bit of my story. I came out of corporate America back where we lived in Clearwater, Florida, all those years ago, Jim. I was part of the Fortune 500 headquarters, Fortune 250, leading all the executive and leadership development for this 40, 000 employee company. Then I went on my own and for 20 some years I wrote business books, spoke all over the world, got Fortune 100 clients all over the place. And then all of a sudden it stopped and Jesus had a different place for me to go. I didn't realize it at the time and over six or seven years I started learning to discern the voice of Holy Spirit for the first time in my life, in my late 50s, in my late 50s. And then he said, one day in prayer, I want you to write a book about me, Holy Spirit.

I said, I don't want to do it. And he just laughed and said, why? This was my conversation in prayer. I said, look, I've written 14 books. They've been some really nice books I've done. And an author, when they write the book, they're supposed to be the expert. I'm just getting to know you. And Holy Spirit in the Spirit said, that's exactly why I want you to write this book because I want you to teach other people how I taught you to discern my voice and I want you to do it for men and women in business. He's my Lord and Savior so I said, yes, sir. And that's how the book...

Jim Brangenberg: You said, yes, sir after no. Then I said, yes, on the fifth time. So why is it so important for people to learn to hear the voice of God?

Dr. Jim Harris: If you don't, if you don't follow the lead of Holy Spirit of Yeshua and Adonai in what you do, then you have no unfair advantage in life or business because you're just doing what everybody else, even the unsaved, are doing, trying to out think and out work and out plan your competition. When we have that unfair advantage of the Spirit of God that knows everything about everything past present and future. we'll even tell you things to come. That is an unfair advantage in business and life

Jim Brangenberg: But we're talking to retirees. Go ahead, Bruce . You go ahead.

Bruce Bruinsma: I was gonna say, so If I could ask you to focus for just a moment, and you're talking about the leadership and the power of the Holy Spirit that is in us to help us to grow and reflect Jesus to the world, and you're focusing that for those who are in the business world.

What we've discovered is that there's about 48 million Christ followers who are retired from all kinds of walks of life and are not finding a meaningful future to help build the kingdom. And they are the ones that need now to be able to discover at that late date or these late dates, what it means to follow the directions of the Holy Spirit.

Could you talk about how that works, not only just for those in business and those are in the pre 55 old, but for a 70 year old like yourself or an 80 year old like me, or a 10 year olds like Jim?

 (laughter)

Dr. Jim Harris: I like you, Bruce. You're picking on Jim. I like when someone picks on Jim. Well done, sir.

Bruce Bruinsma: Yeah. I've got a lot of experience. So that's really good. So if you could just focus on that for a moment for our listeners on how in fact it would help them if they were stepping into that relationship and new understanding.

Dr. Jim Harris: First an exhortation for all of us. We've heard this many times. If you're a believer, if you've been a believer for more than 20 years, most of us know that Moses didn't even get his assignment until 80. Oh, he had assignments, but his real assignment was when he was 80 years old, and then from there his assignment even shifted beyond that. Caleb was 85 before he said, give me my mountain.

So even though we may be in our sixties or seventies or eighties, we just may be stepping into exactly what God's prepared us to do. And frankly now in my seventies, this is what God's prepared me to do. Why is it so important to keep discerning, keep learning how to discern? Because you might be missing exactly why God puts you where you are right now, for such a time as this, so we must continue to seek to learn how to hear his voice and follow his leading.

And even if it doesn't make any sense at all, you need to say, you prepared this for me. I trust you. I trust you with my salvation and eternity. I can sure trust you with the next five years of my life doing what you're asking me to do. So we don't want to miss out. We don't want to miss out and in fact, Jim, if you end up deciding to go to heaven before it's your time, then we've got to pick up what you left behind. I've got enough to do. I don't need to do a lot of Podcast shows like you. I've got enough on my plate. So don't you dare leave early.

Jim Brangenberg: I don't get to choose! God chose my days. But you know what I find, Jim, is that a lot of retirees they've been so pushed off to the sidelines that they don't know how to re engage. They don't know how to recognize the significance of the call in their lives, in this retirement section of their life where they're freer than ever before. How do you speak that to them? Because you got this call in your retirement years. God said, okay. Nope, you don't get to go fishing every day off the beaches of Pensacola. I want you to get busy.

Dr. Jim Harris: We must trust God. Do we trust God with where we are and where we're going? When he told me to write this book, I first initially wrestled. I accepted it and I started writing it. But Bruce, here's a little bit of behind the scenes story. It took nine years after I wrote the book before the real mission of the book started to come alive.

And that's where The Unfair Advantage Show , the TV podcast that now I'm in full time broadcast ministry, I had no clue I was going to do that even two years ago. And now it is just now becoming at 70 years old very clear what I'm doing. So my suggestion, Jim, to anyone who says, quote, unquote, following the so called secular process of retirement, sit on the couch and eat Cheetos and just wait till Jesus calls.

No. This is where you press in and say, here's what I've learned. Here's what you've taught me. Who do you want me to share this with? Is it one person? Is it more than one person? How can I take what you've gifted me with and spread it on to the next generation? Bruce, I don't know about you, but what I have found in my life in the last six to eight years is that other baby boomers and even the next generation down 40, 50, years old, they don't care about what I say.

We're too close to them. But I have more 20s and 30s and 40 year olds coming after me. I could be the grandparent some of the young ones, but they have ears to hear particularly in business. So i'm going to exhort everyone at iRetire4Him to say is there a young person? Is there a group of young people that might be willing to let me share my stories? Whether it's in business and marriage, whatever it might be, there are ears to hear. And in these treacherous times we're living in, everybody sees the evil people. The young people are yearning for a strong voice. I see this all the time. A strong voice of reason and spirit led wisdom. They're ready. You just need to step up and step out and give it a shot.

Bruce Bruinsma: And God will lead. I talk about a progressive revelation where what's the most important thing in my grandfather's words, ringing my ears: once begun is half done. So you take that first step and then God will lead you into the next step and the next. And that's the way that he clearly is leading you and will lead everyone because God, that's the promise, and that's the joy of being a Christian, is that we have the fruit of the Spirit available inside of us to be able to lead and guide and be a model to others. So I just really appreciate that.

Jim, where do we go? Where do our readers, our listeners go to to be able to get some more information about the great work that God's got you doing?

Dr. Jim Harris: Bruce, you can go to drjimharris. com, D R J I M H A R R I S. com. All of my social media is at drjimharris. You can follow, you can watch the shows for free on YouTube, all my Unfair Advantage shows. Tomorrow I get to interview Jim and Martha Brangenberg for the Unfair Advantage show. We'll tell you more about that later. That's the best place to find me. On the website, drjimharris. com. All the social media at drjimharris on X, on Facebook and everywhere else.

Bruce Bruinsma: It's interesting that my latest book just came out two weeks ago and it's called Living the Fruitful Life, following the guidance of the Holy Spirit at every age and life stage. And so you and I probably need to have a couple hour conversation here coming up and I'll look forward to that.

Dr. Jim Harris: Don't force me to come back to Colorado Springs. I lived in Denver all through the eighties when John Elway got there.

Jim Brangenberg: Okay. Okay. None of that. None of that. They never won anyway. It doesn't matter.

Dr. Jim Harris. Thank you so much for being on iRetire4Him today.

Dr. Jim Harris: Ah, it's been my honor. Thank you both.

Jim Brangenberg: Check them out online, drjimharris. com. drjimharris. com. We'll be right back with more on iRetire4Him.

Jim Brangenberg: Hey, welcome back to iRetire4Him. Great conversation, Bruce, that we had with Dr. Jim Harris. I love his enthusiasm for life. I love the fact that even though God transitioned him in a way he didn't expect to, as an overnight success after eight and a half years, that he's still here teaching people how to hear the voice of God.

Bruce, we're talking today about health transitions in our retirement. And part of that, you've shared your story and how you've really been listening to the Lord the last couple of weeks, probably harder than you've ever have. As you go, okay, God, what's going on with me and Judy? How's this going to play out?

As we grow older, in home care or moving to an outside care facility outside of our home sometimes becomes necessary. How do we deal with that in transition? Because up until a couple weeks ago, you probably thought you and Judy may stay in your beautiful home in Colorado Springs until one of you were gone. Now Judy's gotten a little sick. It may not be forever. What, how do we help process through that?

Bruce Bruinsma: One of the ways that we help process through that is that there, there's a word that describes just simply the normal, regular process of growing older, and the word is senescence. Senescence is the normal process of growing older. Senescence is then interrupted by events that we've talked about a little bit before of all different kinds that create the need or the positive opportunity for change. None of us like change, but when we begin to embrace it, and we believe that God's plan for us is for our good, not for our bad, for our learning, and for our developing, and for our being able to show how working through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can impact others. When these other issues of senescence show up at the different stages and they get increasingly, the most difficult one is, I believe, is when we start to lose our memory and we see that in a friend or in a spouse or you notice it for yourself.

It's more than just where'd I put my keys. It's, the beginning process of dementia and so on. And so as we live longer, more of us are going to experience that within the context of our family, our very close family and other families. So senescence is the normal process of growing older and we can expect that and we can learn from that. We can take care of ourselves, we can work out, we can eat well. We can exercise. We can do all those things which we need and should do. But there will be then those events that will come and to be able to make the decision that you're going to leave your home, that you're going to go to an independent living facility or that you need assistance. The hardest one of all, and we don't have a lot of time to conclude this, but I say the most difficult transitional choice that we each have to make is the times when we say, I need help.

Jim Brangenberg: You mean just getting to that spot where you can admit that?

Bruce Bruinsma: Just getting to the spot where you can admit it. Because there's so many people that are in denial that they need it and the catastrophes that happen as a result of that. So just knowing that there is a time when I'm going to need help and we can practice that as a young person because our help comes from the Lord. And so knowing that is true and being able to do that rather than being a grumpy old person or a grumpy young person for that matter, and not being willing to admit the help that, that is available to you.

And it's very easy. One of the easiest ways to know if that's true is that when you're going to pick up something and someone says, Oh, can I help you? And as long as you're saying, Oh no, I can do that. Rather than saying, that's really nice of you. And I appreciate it. Thank you very much. And then moving on from there.

Jim Brangenberg: It is true though, it is true that you could probably still do it. My dad's 91 and every once in a while yeah, I can do that. I'm like, okay. Go ahead. And then you're like, yep, nope, I can't do that. Or yep, I was able to do it.

Look, Bruce, long before Judy got sick in the last few weeks, you and Judy have been talking about, do we stay in home and as we age, bring in some in home care? Or do we move into a community? I hate to use the word facility because that makes it sound like a prison cell. Into a community where there's some extra help. And meals are easier to obtain. And, how do you make that choice about whether it's in home care or whether it's moving into a community where you can get some help?

Bruce Bruinsma: I think there's a financial piece to that, which we won't deal with that in any great depth here, but then also the physical spot. For example, we've been able to stay in our home for probably 5 or 6 years longer than we would, if we lived in a 2 story townhouse, we live all on 1 level.

And when we designed the home, we planned it that way. We have a whole lower level. We have another couple that is lives with us. She helps Judy and does the inside and he handles the two and a half acres outside for me, so it has allowed us to live comfortably in that environment.

But we planned for that. Now we're at a point where we're in fact, we need to downsize that. And so there's all kinds of downsizing options. What do they look like? And so as we have investigated those and finally came to the solution that's good for that, we think will be good for us and to know that when we make that transition, it may not be the last transition. Maybe you want more after that. So many people when they're faced with a difficult decision will make that decision and then will assume that, okay, that takes care of it. It's now done. There's nothing more to be able to do.

And believe me, there is more. There is more, whether it be physically, whether it be mentally, whether it be financially, whether it be with kids, and we're seeing more and more situations now where grandparents and their kids or grandparents and their grandchildren are in fact living together. So another point of transition that we'll talk about.

Jim Brangenberg: Yeah We'll talk about that in the next podcast, but it is true that the best transition is to come? Have you trusted your life to Jesus Christ? Have you accepted the salvation that he's given you and the life that he offers you here on this earth and beyond? Because that final transition can be amazing. If you want to know more about it, get a hold of us at Retirement Reformation. We'd love to talk to you about Jesus and how he came to restore all things, not only our lives from the sin that we embellish ourself with but also to give us life here and live it to the fullest and to give us eternal life with him.

Check us out online, retirementreformation. org and click on the contact us. Great conversation, Bruce. Thanks again for being transparent and all of you going through these health transitions, just know you're not alone, and Bruce at the Retirement Reformation can walk with you in this. So can I. I'm walking with my parents through the same thing.

You've been listening to iRetire4Him, the voice and resource of the Retirement Reformation, online at Retirement Reformation dot o r g. We're Christ followers journeying from retirement to reformation so we can ultimately say iRetire4Him.