iRetire4Him Show 115: Questions Lead to Answers

Jim Brangenberg: Did you know that when you retire, your calling doesn't retire? Your calling is a lifetime calling. And if you're still around, God is not done with you yet. You've tuned in to iRetire4Him, the voice and resource of the Retirement Reformation, an organization dedicated to you, the retiree who loves Jesus and wants purpose for all of your days, especially the ones ahead of you.

Bruce Bruinsma joins us today as the founder of the Retirement Reformation. He is here to encourage and walk with you through retirement. And I'm your host, Jim Brangenberg. Please check us out online, retirementreformation. org, retirementreformation. org, and on Facebook, Retirement Reformation.

Do you ever ask yourself questions like, how am I doing in my retirement? Am I experiencing God's best in my retirement? Do I feel fulfilled in my retirement? Is there evidence that the Holy Spirit is active in my retirement? Christ following retirees aren't usually asking the tough questions because they expect their retirement to be 30 years of vacation, sliding through the end of life, enjoying all the best that God has to offer, and just getting by with their faith.

But what does God intend us for us to do in the last phase of our lives? And are we asking questions about this? In what we read in the Bible, the historical accounts of Moses, Abraham, David, Paul, Elizabeth, Sarah, John, et cetera. What are the questions they were asking? What are the questions we should be asking about our life in retirement?

Bruce Bruinsma is here to share his favorite nine questions for reflections and evaluation over the next three podcasts. Bruce, welcome to iRetire4Him.

Bruce Bruinsma: Hi, Jim. It's always good to be here. And you and I never have to ask the question about why are we here. We're here to be a mouthpiece to impact the people that are listening and those that will follow.

So the questions are important. I wanted to start with a little story here. Our son, we have two children. One of them is our son, Brent. And Brent is a special needs man and has been in that situation since he was born. And what I've learned is two things. Number one, he loves to travel. So we could drive from San Francisco to New York. And he'd be in the backseat of the car and he'd be happy the whole way. He just loves to ride and travel. It's part of who he is. But while he's doing that, you can always hear in the background, he's whispering to himself. And so he's going through his thought process, but he does it verbally. He doesn't do it loudly, and you have to listen very carefully, but I can hear him asking questions of himself or giving him answers.

For example, we're going to take a trip together to Ireland this fall, and so he's asking all kinds of questions about himself, about Ireland. Are we going to see the Titanic exhibit? What town is that in? When are we going to leave? How are we going to get there? He's just, It's got a whole series of questions, and that's one of the ways that he learns, but I think while he does it in a whisper, I think we do it mentally, and that these questions that we have, we often don't put them all out front, but they are all inside, and they are all important.

Jim Brangenberg: Bruce, do you find yourself asking questions? You're almost 83 years old. You'll turn 83 this year, right? Isn't that what it is?

Bruce Bruinsma: I turn 83 in another couple of weeks.

Jim Brangenberg: That's what I thought. Okay, so you're 83. Do you find yourself asking questions about where you're at right now? What kind of questions do you find yourself asking yourself?

Bruce Bruinsma: Oh, absolutely. And Judy and I have only been married for 61, it'll be 62 years. Only 61, 62 years. Yeah, yeah, whatever, just a bunch. And so Judy and I have questions that we ask of each other. And one of them is what have we actually learned in the last 62 years?

And we'll talk about some of the things that we've learned, the struggles that we've gone through, and each discovery process usually starts with a question, and we get the best answers out of when, in fact, we use that questioning methodology. When we talk to each other, matter of fact, typically when we wake up in the morning around 5:30 or so, and we're going to head for the gym, the question Judy will ask me, or I'll ask her is how you feeling today? And that's always a good question when you're this age. And so questions are the way that we learn. And when we stop asking questions, we, in fact, will stop learning.

Jim Brangenberg: So what is the question that you love to ask yourself every day after you're done asking Judy how she's feeling and you're trying to figure out, when I get out of bed today, how am I feeling? What's that question you love to ask maybe of the Lord in the morning?

Bruce Bruinsma: Yeah, the question I ask is, Lord what is it that you want me to do today? Or how do you want me to be able to respond if I know there's a problem coming up? And so I'll ask the question of how do I deal with that in a way that reflects you? And so in all the areas of challenge, whether it be physical, emotional, spiritual, mental relationships, whatever it may be, when you realize that there's an issue, then the next step is to ask the question that hopefully will then open the door to God's answer.

Jim Brangenberg: All right. So in this part one of a three part podcast where we're going to talk about the questions we should be asking ourselves during retirement, let's just start off with this: Why should we be asking questions during our retirement? I mean isn't retirement supposed to be 30 years of vacation sliding through to the end? Why should we be asking ourselves questions?

Bruce Bruinsma: Number one is because it's not a time of vacation sliding through to the end. In fact, it is, as we've talked often on these podcasts, Jim, it may very well be the most complex time of life. And so in the complexities that continue to come up, and many of them are surprises to us and we're not sure what to do with them. And so the next step in the response methodology, the response to whatever the challenge is, and depending what all those different areas, it always starts with the question. And if you ask the right question, you have a chance to be able to hear God's answer and it to be one that will make a huge difference in your life and then your life in the life of others.

Jim Brangenberg: Asking questions is really... we have a lot of biblical patriarchs who, we don't have documentation of the questions they were asking, but I imagine when God said, Abraham, I want you to travel over to Canaan, down to Canaan, down Southwest to Canaan, imagine Abraham had a couple of questions. And when God said he's going to have a big nation, probably had some questions. Why do you think that we don't read a lot? Elijah asked God questions. Elijah was asking God questions like, okay. So people ask questions of God. Is God afraid of our questions?

Bruce Bruinsma: No, I think that's the way he made us. And when I tell you what, you know it's the other side of the coin if we're not asking questions, it means that we've taken on the answer ourselves rather than looking to God for the answer. And so the very fact that we ask questions is a) necessary, b) positive, and c) opens the door for God's answers to be able to come to us. If we're not asking questions, it means that I'm taking it on all the power of Bruce and the wisdom of Bruce. And there's not a lot of that. And not a really good idea, but as we grow older, the questions become more, the fact that we ask them becomes more important. And the fact that we learn how to listen becomes critical.

Well, there was that one movie they did about you: bruce almighty so... maybe people can go back to that for reference.

 (laughter)

Bruce Bruinsma: All right, you're listening to iRetire4Him. We're coming back. We got Linda coming in here. She's going to talk about senior strategies. Incredible woman out of st Louis, missouri, and then we'll be back in our third segment really finishing up this conversation why we should be asking questions, and a hint at the nine different evaluation questions and nine different reflection questions we're going to talk about in the next two podcasts. You're listening to iRetire4Him. We'll be right back.

Jim Brangenberg: Hey, welcome back to iRetire4Him. As we do in every second segment of every show, we bring on a guest that's got a story to share of how they're living out their faith in their quote unquote retirement years. Today, we go to St. Louis, Missouri. Bruce, we pick up Linda Priaulx, and she has got a story to tell, and she's got a podcast where she highlights these incredible stories on aging strategies. Linda Priaulx, welcome to iRetire4Him.

Linda Priaulx: Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure and a privilege to be with you all and to be with whoever is listening to your show. I love it.

Jim Brangenberg: Linda, you're retirement age, but you're not retired. Why?

Linda Priaulx: Yeah, I thought that was a trick question.

Jim Brangenberg: No, it's not a trick question.

Linda Priaulx: I thought it was a trick question, but yes, when you think about social security and what they promote as retirement age, I have definitely reached that time, but no, I am not retired. I have been praying about it for quite a long time. And even though I was approaching that age, I didn't sense that my work at the company that I was working for was over yet, that it didn't seem like the right time. So really a matter of prayer as to really seek God and to see what and how he wants to lead and guide me, knowing that I'm getting to this new stage.

And I also feel that unsettled feeling where, you're okay where you are, but maybe there's something else that you're supposed to be doing. And that's where I found myself. So as I approached the owner, I said I'm thinking about transitioning out of my role. I feel like I owe you that so that you can plan. And he said can you continue to work with us and continue and do what you feel that you're being called to do? And I said I'll certainly give it some thought. And so I thought, yes, I think I can do a hybrid of working 20 hours at a job that I love, still feel that I bring value and worth to the table, and yet can also start fulfilling that second act that I sense and feel God calling me to.

Jim Brangenberg: So talk to me about that. What has God shown you about retirement? Because clearly God said, I'm not done. So therefore, really what we say in this show is if you've got a pulse, you've got a purpose. If you retire, it doesn't mean your calling retired. And if you're not dead, you're not done. So what has God shown you about your retirement? Because you decided I'm not done. What's God showing you?

Linda Priaulx: Yeah, he showed me that there's no retirement age in the Bible and that I'm his child and I've got gifts that he's given me. And those gifts can, I feel, can impact people in the right way. And I actually have time to do it. I have been through a really hard season of working, with my family and being there and providing care and helping my employer get to where I felt like his business needed to be professionally, and I just sensed that I was coming out of that season.

Bruce Bruinsma: So let me ask a question if I can. So how has this information, this experience that you're going through and the prayer and the responses, how does that play itself out for the older generation? Are you primarily talking to younger people?

Linda Priaulx: I'm talking to all generations everywhere, but mostly older people because, I even did a podcast about this, about the longevity that we have gained over the years due to changes in healthcare. And so that really speaks to this second act that we now have the ability to go into. What's my next purpose in life? So yes, I think I'm mostly speaking to seniors here when I think about how I've struggled and wrestled with "Linda, you should be retired now," but I don't want to retire or "it's time for you to retire. When are you going to retire?" But I'm not sensing I'm supposed to retire now and just struggling with that push pull in my own brain. And then my mother lived to a hundred years old. And just, I did the math and I'm like, that's a long time to do what?

Bruce Bruinsma: It is indeed. We talked about retirement being 30 years and actually with the average age at 57 now, it's probably maybe even closer to 40. And you're right. That's a long time.

Linda Priaulx: It is a long time. Absolutely.

Jim Brangenberg: Linda, you started, you jumped into a whole new world. You started a podcast: Aging in Place Strategies and Answers. Something that was just, out of your box for sure. Why did you start this podcast?

Linda Priaulx: Yes. And I love what you said totally out of the box. People are like, how and what, how'd you do that? And I said God, but people have been telling me for years that they needed the information that I knew that when I met with people or talked with people. They felt that the information I gave them was valuable and educational. Now, how was I going to deliver that message? And I thought, I can't deliver it because I'm so busy working. And so as this second act started playing through my mind, I thought I've been a caregiver before. I work with clients all the time who are in crisis. What's the easiest way to deliver this message? And that's where one day I heard the word podcast. And the next is just mechanics.

Bruce Bruinsma: So what's the name of your podcast?

Linda Priaulx: Aging in Place, Strategies and Answers.

Bruce Bruinsma: Aging in Place, Strategies and Answers. I love that. I just read a long article about the Aging in Place piece of that. Fascinating. Fascinating. Yes. So as we come to the end of our brief time together, what's one or two really key thoughts that our audience can appreciate from the experience that God has given you in the direction that he's given you? What's one or two key thoughts that you have for them?

Linda Priaulx: I was really blessed in my career that I'm in marketing, and so sometimes I spend time in my car. So I usually keep it turned to Christian radio and one time I heard Hal Becker talk about finishing well. And I thought, I want to finish well. Who doesn't want to finish well, right? But that idea circulated in my brain about finishing well. And then I started I was gonna, I decided that in my free time, I could now lead a women's Bible study, but I wanted to focus on women who were working, still working. And then I did a quick Google search on how I could strengthen them, encourage them and found Jim and Martha's podcast and a platform. And I thought, yes, this resonates a hundred percent with me. So again, I feel like through prayer and thoughtful processes and trying to be quiet and still, God is a good leader and guide and he knows me.

Bruce Bruinsma: I'm sure he does and that you can look forward to good and faithful as part of the affirmation for that when it's time for you to go home. So this has really been a pleasure. Jim, what do you want to wrap up?

Jim Brangenberg: Linda, just one final question. A lot of times people have a resource that they just love to lean on as they head into this you call the second half of life. We're calling it the final phase, you know the final phase which actually is broken up into three different parts. What resource do you lean on to really make sure you're capturing all that God has for you and how many years you got left, 30, 40 years left?

Linda Priaulx: The key resource I think is going straight to the Bible and praying and journaling and thinking and focusing. And of course, like I mentioned before, the other resources around me and godly counsel, right? It all works together.

Jim Brangenberg: Godly counsel. That's a good one. And it's harder to find when your friends start getting too old to give you godly counsel because maybe they die off, but you just have to find some younger people that are wise as well. Linda, I want to encourage people to check out your podcast, Aging in Place, Strategies and Answers. Linda Priaulx, thanks for being on iRetire4Him. Just sharing a little bit of your story. We'll make sure that you and Bruce get connected offline.

Linda Priaulx: Thank you.

Jim Brangenberg: Alright. You're listening to iRetire4Him. We'll be right back.

Jim Brangenberg: Hey, welcome back to iRetire4Him as we're talking today about the questions we should be asking in our retirement. And Bruce, you've got these sets of retirement questions But we're not going to talk about specifics. In the next two podcasts, ew're going to talk about nine questions you should ask yourself for evaluating your retirement and nine questions you should talk about in reflecting on your retirement, but first I want to talk about the theme of these Questions. Is there a theme for the evaluation questions? Is there a reason behind us evaluating where we're at in retirement?

Bruce Bruinsma: Yeah, there definitely is. As a matter of fact The theme that runs through both the evaluative questions and the reflective ones that we're going to talk about is really the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives and the availability of the Holy Spirit to give us guidance, leadership, and answers to questions.

It has to do with the fruit of the spirit and the fact, Jim, as I do retirement voices events and oxygen for life events, and I'm looking out at the audience, and unfortunately, a lot of times what I see is some pretty grumpy people. And I got thinking about, man, what can we do to help them to be aware of what's available to them through the fruit of the spirit? And it was out of that thought process that both the evaluative and the reflective questions We're born to be able to assist our audience in thinking to themselves about where am I? Where can I be? And where does God want me to be?

Jim Brangenberg: Wow. Where does God want me to be? I lived in Florida for 20 years, so I've done 20 years of field research on retirees because I lived in retiree world. Number one retiree world because Arizona's got some retirees, but not near as many as Florida. And I don't know that I ran into a lot of retirees who knew that they should be asking that question. Why is that?

Bruce Bruinsma: Again, when we think of the definition of, God calls us into ministry for a lifetime, what does ministry mean? What ministry means is impacting the lives of others. And when in fact you are focused so on your set of circumstances - and you'll see in the questions that I've asked that we'll talk about in the next two segments - that prompt the listener and the person who steps into those to look outside of himself and realize that when you're all focused inward that you're not going to ask very many questions and what you're going to find, other than questions of complaint. A question of complaint is why me?

A question of complaint is, I have no idea why this is happening to me and it's not fair and it's not right and I'm grumpy and on. And so the outward questions are the ones that lead us to new distinctions, discoveries. The inward question leads us to loneliness, anxiety, and tension.

Jim Brangenberg: Which one of your books that you've released - five or six of them, I lose track. I apologize. I should have kept track of all of them - which one of your books would best help answer this question? Who did God create me to be? What did he create me to be doing? And what's my next assignment here at my retirement? Which one of your books deals best with that?

Bruce Bruinsma: I think there's two of them that do that. The fourth book in the one series being faithful addresses that. And then the new one that I'll have coming out, just told me that it was going to be out about the second week of June, on walking in the fruit of the Spirit. And I think that's going to be really helpful .

We've got two issues that we've been dealing with for all these 115 or more podcasts. One is understanding what is true about our lives. And now we're dealing with and what do I do about it? Where is my source of insight, of wisdom, of strength, of next steps? And I think it's in the power of the Holy Spirit that we find the operative answer while in some of Jesus teachings, we find the questions that we need to ask. Matter of fact, if you just go back and read the book of john, but particularly the 15th chapter and Jesus lays it out in just such a clear and beautiful way.

And it's in that context that his disciples were asking questions, and that it was his answers to those questions that really speak to me and I think will speak to our audience. So pick up that Bible and read John 15.

Jim Brangenberg: And the simplicity of that chapter 15 is if we're just connected to the vine, we're naturally going to produce fruit and that connectedness can get deeper and deeper.

All right. So you've hinted that there's some events that you do. And as we close out today's show. I want to make sure you give people an idea on the different kinds of events you're holding, like Retirement Voices you mentioned. I know we've talked about Oxygen for Life events. What do you got available and how can people get involved in having these events?

Bruce Bruinsma: I think the Retirement Voices event is one that would be a great way for all of our listeners to promote for their church to bring their seniors together because it does two things. Number one, it lays out the issues of retirement in a very positive way. Secondly, it provides an opportunity for me to answer questions and for you to ask them.

And so some of these questions that we're going to talk about here are questions that we will use as a prompt for you when you come to those events and you're getting ready for the event to begin, for you to get mentally into the right spot to receive what God has for you in those conversations.

Jim Brangenberg: So you've got the Oxygen for Life event, the retirement reflections night. And these are things that people can, if they want to have one at their church, how do they get, how do they find out how to get them signed up? They go on your website, retirement reformation. org?

Bruce Bruinsma: Go to our website and say, Hey, I'm interested in some information. And I've talked to, my senior pastor, my pastor of senior activities, executive pastor and they're interested. And so can you send me some information? Can you send them some information? Can we have a conversation? And then, we take the next step of of putting that into action.

Jim Brangenberg: When you're on your way to doing right now, by the time the podcast gets out, these will be done, but you're doing one in Kentucky. Then you're going to do some stuff up in Michigan. And that's fantastic. I just know that there's probably a lot of jealous people like, Hey, I want one in my neighborhood or even in my state that I can go to.

And that's why I want to make sure we highlight it today. So folks just go out to retirement reformation. org, retirement reformation. org, and look at all the resources out there. Make sure you sign the manifesto when you're out there! But look at how you can get an event like retirement voices or oxygen for life in your neighborhood this year, or maybe next year.

Bruce Bruinsma: Here's a question for you to ask. Why don't we do an oxygen for life or a retirement voices event in my church? Ask that question. Why don't we, and then take the steps to help us together, make it happen so that we can impact the friends of yours that are seniors and those you haven't met yet, but that God's going to put it in your pathway.

Jim Brangenberg: Absolutely. Thanks, Bruce. You've been listening to iRetire4Him, the voice and resource of the Retirement Reformation with your host Jim Brangenberg and Retirement Reformation's very own founder, Bruce Bruinsma. We're Christ followers enjoying God's best on our way from retirement to reformation so we can ultimately say iRetire4Him!