iRetire4Him Show 129: Your New Year's Challenge

Jim Brangenberg: Did you know that when you retire, your calling doesn't retire? Your calling is a lifetime calling, and if you're still around, God isn't done with you yet. And as we head into the Christmas, good grief, we're only a week away, God's got such purpose and plans for you, especially as the new year is around the corner.

You've tuned into iRetire4Him, the voice and resource of the Retirement Reformation , online at retirementreformation. org. Bruce Bruinsma joins us today as the founder of the Retirement Reformation. He invites you to check us out online, retirementreformation. org, and to walk with him as he walks through these days of retirement.

It's literally Two weeks until New Year's Eve and as a retired Christ follower, what is your plan for making a difference as the New Year rings in? In this new series, we challenge both of us and all of you to the statement: not everyone can do the same thing, but everyone can do something. What does that look like for you as we lead up to celebrating New Year's Eve?

On today's podcast, Bruce and I will talk about New Year's past and present, and how we can serve our neighbors with some Auld Lang Syne. We'll make sure, by the way, I just learned that's what that really is, I always thought it was Old Lang Syme, I had no idea what that really was. Alright, but we're gonna make sure and give everyone listening today some ideas on what you can do to make a difference in someone's life leading up to ringing in the New Year with friends and family. Bruce, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Bruce Bruinsma: Hi, Jim. Merry Christmas to you, my friend and the happiest of New Year's, knowing while that, in fact, there will be challenges, but that with God's love and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, we can navigate through it. And to do it with love and with joy and peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self control. That's the new year that I'm looking forward to.

Jim Brangenberg: It's so hard to believe that we're going to celebrate Christmas next week and New Year's in two weeks. It, it takes my breath away. 2024 went by so fast yet so slow, but it's gone. It's here. It's gone. Done. Bye. All right. But here's my question. Let's get personal for a minute. What do you and Judy have planned for Christmas? What are you guys going to do? Do you have some family in town? What are you going to do for Christmas?

Bruce Bruinsma: For Christmas, our son Brent, who's special needs, he lives in a group home, but it's very active and that's in California. We live in Colorado. So on most months we go to California to visit with him. And each year for Christmas for the last, oh, probably five or six years, we've said to Brent, where would you like to go for Christmas? And he comes up with some pretty good places, but this year he came up with a real good one.

He said, Palm Springs. I said why do you want to go to Palm Springs? He said. Oh, because they have a Barnes and Noble bookstore there. I said why do you want to go to a Barnes and Noble bookstore? He said, because they've got some books that I really need to read. So Judy and Brent and I are going to be in Palm Springs for Christmas.

Jim Brangenberg: I can't wait to get the list from you on the books that Brent picked out. I thought you were going to come back and say, Brent, we have a Barnes and Noble right here in Colorado Springs. You could come here, but you didn't try that with him. Okay. All right. So what about New Year's celebration? Are you going to be at home? Are you going to be at home for New Year's?

Bruce Bruinsma: We will be home for New Year's but we will be leaving shortly after that. Starting in Oh, probably last January, February Judy doesn't have a lot of fat on her and she gets cold easily. So one of the things that I can do for her is to find opportunities like Palm Springs where in fact, it's a little warmer than it is in Colorado. And so right after New Year's, we will, we'll have a 10 day cruise out of Los Angeles that goes down to the Mexican Riviera and back. And so look for these unique opportunities. You've heard me say often, Jim, that, there's nothing wrong with leisure. It has, it's pleasurable.

It has value. Doesn't have a lot of meaning and purpose, but it has pleasure and is valuable. So to be able to build things in and because I made those arrangements almost a year ago, in spite of the challenges that Judy's gone through and continues to go through. We're looking forward to to that time, that time together.

Jim Brangenberg: What's fun is New Year's Eve celebrations. When Martha and I lived in our neighborhood back in Florida, we'd often invite many people over in the neighborhood. Just come celebrate New Year's. And, most people would go home before the bell dropped in New York City. But we'd have a lot of fireworks going on.

I bet you and Judy used to have some humdinger of office parties for New Year's Eve. Did you guys used to have big parties for New Year's Eve? I just imagine that you did.

Bruce Bruinsma: Yeah I'll be a good imagination, but I got to tell you that generally we did not really. For whatever reason in our family, New Year's Eve was more of a quiet meal in a time of reflection about the new year than it was celebrating at that point in time. So that was different.

I can remember right after Judy and I were married, and we were living in Dearborn, Michigan, and it was New Year's Eve, I think it was our second New Year's Eve after we were married, maybe the third, and so we had a meal together, and we prayed, and talked about some things for the new year, and Judy said, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to bed. So that was like around 10:30. So now it's midnight. And I'm going what am I going to do now? So I went into the kitchen, I found a pot and pan and I went and stood on our front porch and I beat on a pot and pan to introduce our neighbors and myself into the new year. After beating on that for, seemed like an eternity, all of a sudden I found there was Judy standing behind me and she said, would you please stop that right now? (laughter)

Jim Brangenberg: Ha! Where were you guys living then? Where were you guys living then? Was that California? Is that Oregon? Where were you guys at? That was in Dearborn, Michigan. In Michigan. You're lucky somebody didn't pull out a shotgun and shoot at you in Dearborn, Michigan.

Bruce Bruinsma: I absolutely (laughing) today that probably would happened, but this was some numbers of years ago. So anyway, that, that was our New Year's Eve at that at that point in time.

Jim Brangenberg: At the beach, when we lived across the street from the beach for 20 years, on New Year's Eve, from midnight until 12:30, fireworks, like 4th of July kind of fireworks, just constantly. It was hilarious. I always loved that. I never thought about the pot and a big wooden spoon. I may try that this year in Missouri and see how that goes over. It may not go over well, and there's a lot more guns here. Alright New Year's, Bruce, it's a significant time for others. It's really just another day. But it seems to be such have a special effect on all of us as we're able to reflect on the year past and look forward to a new year. Why is it so special to be able to do that?

Bruce Bruinsma: These unique times of transition in our lives and some those unique times of transition are created by our circumstances and the events of our life. But there are some that Are preordained by God to say, Look, here's a time. It's like for the Israelites. They had certain festivals for certain reasons, and it wasn't because it was something that was in their life. It was what God said hey, here's a time for you to step out. Step back. Look forward. Be thankful. And that always impressed me at how systematic God was with His people, and He is with us, saying there are these unique times where you need to look up, you need to look out, and you need to realize that God is calling you to something more, something better, and something bigger.

Jim Brangenberg: Yeah, a lot of people sit there and think, yeah, but what does God want from me in 2025? And really, the answer is universal, and it doesn't even take you know, having to go in and hear from a prophetic intercessor. The scriptures are clear with it. He just wants a relationship with you. It's why he sent Jesus, so that we could be one on one with our Heavenly Father.

And that's something significant to look forward to in 2025. When we come back after our time with Joel Werdell From the Christian Association of Youth Mentoring, Bruce, let's give some specific ideas of how we can use New Year's Eve to launch our ministry, do something to touch the lives of those around us with intentionality on New Year's Eve and beyond.

You're listening to iRetire4Him, we'll be right back.

Jim Brangenberg: Hey, welcome back to iRetire4Him. we're spending this three part series on, hey, everybody could do something. We just can't always do the same thing, or maybe not all of us can do the same thing, but everybody can do something. However, the title of the book is, Bruce, I didn't get to read the book yet.

Bruce, every second segment of the show, we always bring in somebody to have a conversation with us about how they're living out their faith, and we're really focusing on wraparound grandparenting. Who do you have for us today? Let's take the conversation forward.

Bruce Bruinsma: Good. I'd like to introduce our audience to Joel Werdell. We did have an opportunity to interview you, I think, some time ago, but we've got a unique opportunity now. It was my pleasure to spend a couple of really intense but profitable days with Joel and a group of other Christian leaders in the fostering movement. And Joel is the recent president of the Christian Association for Youth Mentoring.

And so one of the things that we did talk about during our two days together with the team and talking about how can we take the legacy of love and bring that to the fostering movement, and one of the things that Joel brought to our conversation was the realization that in those dialogues, in that opportunity, there is a role for what we call mentoring. Joel, if you take us for just a minute or two on the journey that you were on, as you recognized the role that mentoring can play in bringing fostering support, wraparound grandparenting, to the fostering movement.

Joel Werdell: Yeah. Thanks, Bruce. Yeah, it's the work that we're doing at Christian Association of Youth Mentoring is to really see how communities are transformed through mentoring. And a big part of that is looking where you can provide stability in an otherwise can be really hectic or chaotic environment for a young person. And I think as you look across the foster care system, the work that we're doing and what we're hearing from - example, a social worker is, they're trying to provide very similar to a grandparent type of resourcing.

For example foster care or social workers are getting hit up, multiple times a day. Hey, can you take me to this baseball game? Can you take me to this football game? Can I, somebody to hang out with me here? And that is exhausting for a social worker to do that.

And a lot of these kids, otherwise they're not going to make it to these events. So that's one really practical way is just to provide some stability for a young person to be able to go to some events, have some conversations, have a lead in. I think the other one is having a foster care family continue on through some of these trials.

A lot of folks leave after a year. And the number one reason that they stay longer than that is a support system around them. And so if you look at the biggest things that someone can do, we talked a lot in our conversation, right? Just coming over and helping out with laundry, helping and coming over and making a meal Hey, every Monday, I'm going to come over and make you a meal. You think about there's like really stable moments that a grandparent type figure can provide. And it becomes that bedrock that the family and a child really benefits from.

Bruce Bruinsma: For them, for particularly for the children to be able to see someone who is willing to help them without an agenda.

Joel Werdell: That's right.

Bruce Bruinsma: That's what grandparents are. They're willing to help without an agenda other than to show love and to want to embrace.

Jim Brangenberg: Oh, spoiling. Spoiling is always involved. Grandparents always want to spoil. Spoiling is always involved. Joel, let me ask you this question. Growing up, did you have a mentor in your life?

Joel Werdell: I did. I was very fortunate to have mentors throughout, whether it was in different school systems, different church mentors and leaders of mine, small group leaders, professors in college, and then coaches along the way, were incredibly inspiring. And even now in, in the business world, having mentors at different stages have helped me with different things, right?

Whether it's an experience that I'm stepping into that I don't know a lot or it's a career that I'm really excited to keep pursuing and growing, or whether it's, oh, finding somebody that is a great father. I'm like, Oh, I'd love to learn from that person. So there's so many ways that people have poured into me. And I am excited to not only do that at an individual level, but really help communities put formal processes in so that kids that don't have that type of social network and social capital around them have mentors available to

Jim Brangenberg: them. Can you imagine what your life would have been like without a mentor? You've gone all the way through, I don't know, how old are you now, 50, 45, 50, how old are you?

Joel Werdell: Yeah, I'm 43.

Jim Brangenberg: Okay, 43, close the second time. Alright but can you imagine never having had a mentor, that you'd been on your own, alone? Would you be where you are today, running the Christian Association of Youth Mentoring?

Joel Werdell: Yeah, I think even the previous executive director has been a mentor of mine as I was helping start some other nonprofits and being involved, looking at. He, he was big into the outdoors. And so I think about just even how the outdoors has really changed my perspective on my faith and hardship, suffering. That those perspectives that I have gotten, plus those friendships, have been life changing. And the things that I've been able to do with my kids, the confidence, spending time with them, giving them another skill. All of that was passed down to me through mentoring and people that were pouring into me.

And so I look, that would be a huge aspect that I would not have a part of my life. Someone taught me how to whitewater kayak, how to lead, rock climb, how to climb mountains, how to guide trips in big mountaineering, big mountains and all of that. Now I'm passing on to the next generation. This last summer I got to take a trip with mainly high school boys, and it was one of the most beautiful experiences I've ever had in the mountains. And so I look at all of that is from people that poured into me and different mentors that have passed those skills on to me.

Bruce Bruinsma: When we think of the wide breadth of experience and capacity that seniors have and apply that into that family setting, there's a lot of kids in foster care that have never seen a mountain. There's kids in foster care that have never seen snow. There are kids in foster care that have never experienced love without an agenda. And so these are all things that we have the capacity to pour into someone else, but we need to be proactive. We need to be active, not passive.

And so the mentoring education, the mentoring training that we'll provide in conjunction with you for those that are wanting to step into the wraparound grandparenting role will help them to go from being passive to being aggressive, going from being I don't know if I have anything to offer, do I have something to offer?

Jim Brangenberg: Everybody's got something. Doesn't everybody have something to offer, Bruce? Doesn't everybody have something to offer?

Bruce Bruinsma: Everyone has something to offer, but not everyone is willing to be transparent enough with that offering or confident enough to identify it. Oh, I can't tell you the number of seniors who have said to me there's nothing that I can do. And then we sit down and talk and you find out about their experiences and you go what about that?

Joel Werdell: I'd love to share a story. One of my favorite memories of my grandparents is playing cards with them. They were huge card players. And one of the games that they loved was Pinochle. And my grandpa even had a name that we would call him because he got so fired up about playing and he would get excited and put a card down heavy on the table.

And I just looked at that, those memories and I wanted to learn that game, right? I'm like this game is really fun. Clearly my parents and grandparents are having a good time. And then it just a chance to interact with them and to laugh and enjoy that time. And it took zero effort, right?

We were just out there having fun and playing this card game. And I think that's true for a lot of those relationships, right? You don't need to be able to summon a mountain. Although I've seen, one of the coolest moments was seeing a 75 year old taking his grand grandson and some of the grandson's friends up this incredibly difficult mountain. I was blown away. And then a few, a mile up the road, there's another group of, all of them were over 70 years old on this mountain. It just, it blew me away. I'm like yes, of course you can do that at 70 years old.

But we're not asking people to do that. We're asking people to, sit down and have some TV, play a card game maybe go to a park and look at some of the mountains. Look at some of the beautiful scenery, right? Like you're saying, that doesn't take a lot of skill, but those that have skill that passing that down to the next generation is so critical and so important. If you're, if you have some woodworking skills or you have cooking skills, I love baking sourdough, right? Like even something so simple like that can really change someone's life once they have that skill.

Jim Brangenberg: We have something in common. Cause I like eating sourdough, Joel, I love it. How can people get ahold of the Christian association of youth mentoring to see, just to check out what you guys are doing and the people that are part of your association?

Joel Werdell: Yeah. Yeah, if you go to C A Y M dot org you can learn more there. And then of course in the coming months, we'll have more information on the partnership and retirement reformation. So I'm, yeah I'm fired up about all the things and again, C A Y M dot org.

Jim Brangenberg: Thanks Joel, for being with us on iRetire4Him. We'll be right back.

Jim Brangenberg: Hey, welcome back to iRetire4Him, we're talking about leading up to New Year's Eve. A couple weeks from now, New Year's Eve will be right upon us. And we're talking about how do we live with intentionality in looking at that celebration? Cause there's so much we can do, but so many people are like, I can't do anything. I'm too old or I don't have any ideas.

We're here to give you some ideas: of not everybody can do the same thing, but everybody could do something, as we lead up to New Year's Eve. And in our final podcast in this series, the next one should pick up in a couple of weeks, right before New Year's Eve, we're going to talk about 2025 being intentional.

So Bruce, what are some of the things that each of us can do to help somebody else on New Year's Eve? What are some of the things that come to your mind? What can you do? You're caregiving right now, so your number one responsibility is Judy. But what can some people do to really put their faith into action on New Year's Eve?

Bruce Bruinsma: I think it's New Year's Eve. It's also the few days before that week between Christmas and New Year's, can be a really a preparatory one and the thought that comes to mind, Jim, is that we can commit to being transparent. We can commit to being transparent. What does that look like?

Take one of the guys from church and take them out for breakfast. And be transparent with them about what it is that you are fearful about and what it is that you're expecting in the new year. And so when we are transparent with someone else, that invites them to be transparent. And now that builds relationship and have the opportunity for the Holy Spirit to speak to us, through us and with us.

And so to find multiple opportunities with your kids, with your friends, and maybe with someone at church or in your neighborhood that said, I'd really to get to know them, but I don't know them at all. Invite them out, take them out to, we got a little restaurant here called Omelettes, and you can get a really great breakfast for, eight bucks. And go take them out for breakfast and then be transparent, not just probing into them, but start with who it is that you are. What have you learned for the year? What is it that you want to learn looking into the new year? What are the pains that you're experiencing? And what is it that you're being impressed with of how you can be of help to someone else?

And maybe you can engage with that person in some kind of activity together, but being transparent, I think is a wonderful place to begin as you prepare for the new year.

Jim Brangenberg: I love that idea. Just spend some time. I can't believe you've got a place in Colorado Springs you can have breakfast for eight bucks. That part I'm thinking you can't even eat McDonald's for eight bucks anymore. That's great. Everybody go to Colorado Springs, go to omelets and have one. That's fantastic.

All right. So one of the things I've noticed, Bruce, is that new Year's Eve can be a very lonely time for people, especially Christmas to New Year's. We consider a lot of people that they're not near their family because they moved away for a job, or they don't have money to go home, or frankly their family's all gone, whatever it may be. What's one thing we can do? First of all, let me ask this question. How do we know if somebody's lonely?

Bruce Bruinsma: Yeah, you can assume that someone's lonely if there is no family in the area, they are lonely. If they do not have a really foundational church support group, a life group, Sunday school class, a small group that they meet with regularly, it's guaranteed that they are lonely. As a matter of fact, for most people the correct answer to your question is just assume they are lonely and go from there. You will find out in such a high percentage of times that is, that really is the case. And you can be lonely in a crowd. And so we've talked about loneliness before in our podcast and we'll talk about it again.

But, where we are here, for example, there's X number of armed services people in this town that are here, not by choice, but by direction and that they can't afford or they don't have the time flexibility to go see someone that they would love to have an opportunity to be with someone. And so you can assume that loneliness is the case. Our daughter and son in law have 12 cadets from the Air Force Academy. They've got two boys of their own that are there. They've got another 10 that they have adopted. And they are with them every weekend, from Friday night through Sunday, that they are available to be off campus.

And they go to church together on Friday night and then on Saturday and Sunday, they have free reign of their home and they're able to be together in community. So we talk about transparency to be able to bring the an opportunity for community to exist is really, is really special. And am sure that if, anybody in the armed forces ask them who they know that is lonely , and there'll be plenty of opportunities.

Then look around at the growth in the number of senior citizen homes. I guarantee you on new year's day, in New Year's evening, in New Year's Eve, that there is a group there or individuals that would love to have someone just sit with them, maybe to cry with them, but certainly to be transparent with them and to say, God loves you. It's so easy to do and it's a growing need.

Jim Brangenberg: Yeah, it is so true. And there are, and that's what the point that I want to drive home is that as we head into New Year's Eve, Christmas and New Year's Eve here in the next couple of weeks, just, if just Look around the houses that surround where you live, whether you live in an apartment, so be the apartments that surround where you live, or if you're in assisted living community, the people that live in the rooms around you, or if you're in a nursing home, the people that live in the rooms around you, say, how many of them have family that are visiting them?

How many of them have a friend that comes to visit them? And just, Invite somebody into your home. It is one of the most powerful tools of God, is when we as believers bring people into our homes, where the Holy Spirit reigns, and the power of God is in existence, and people who don't know God will feel God in your home.

Whether that home is a one bedroom apartment or an efficiency, or whether it's a palatial mansion - it doesn't matter. Your home is where your heart is, and people would love to be invited in your home. Bruce, it's amazing, but we do need to live with intentionality as we head into New Year's Eve, don't we? We really do.

Bruce Bruinsma: We really do. It's the, this passive whatever happens is what will happen rather than being aggressive and being active in our outreach. And as seniors, I think it's harder for seniors than it is even for others. And so our encouragement to everyone who's listening and sent this podcast, send a copy of it or a connection to it to someone else that you know, anywhere in the country. And be active in your outreach. Be transparent in your relationships. And the difference that you will make will bring meaning and purpose to your life. And it is the way that God wanted us to be in community.

Jim Brangenberg: And for Bruce and I, Merry Christmas. We know that's next week and before new year's gets here, we'll have one more show where we're going to talk about how do we really plan with intentionality to do something, maybe not the same thing as everybody else, in 2025?

You've been listening to iRetire4Him, the voice and resource of the Retirement Reformation with your host Jim Brangenberg and Retirement Reformation's very own founder, Bruce Bruinsma. We're Christ followers, journeying from retirement to reformation. Ultimately, we can say, iRetire4Him.