Intro: While retirement is generally seen as a time of relaxation and self focus, God calls us to love, serve and help others for a lifetime. He has been preparing us for this retirement season, literally our entire lives. In retirement, countless Christians enter a state of spiritual dormancy, not knowing how they are called to have an impact for God's kingdom.

The Retirement Reformation seeks to encourage and empower the 50 million Christians approaching or in retirement to embrace the. God has been preparing in them when the world says it's time to stop, you can begin to have your greatest impact. Welcome to iRetire4Him. The mouthpiece of the Retirement Reformation, where our goal is to journey from retirement to reformation, so you can say, iRetire4Him.

Jim: Reaching out to the 50 million Christ followers in America who are approaching - are fast approaching retirement. We're so glad that you joined us today here on iRetire4Him, the mouthpiece of the Retirement Reformation. I'm your host, Jim Brangenberg, along with the founder of the Retirement Reformation, Bruce Bruinsma, check us out online, please., Retirementreformation.org, retirementreformation.org. And of course on Facebook, Retirement Reformation, or you could download our app Retirement Reformation in the apple podcasts. You know, Christians are called to ministry for a lifetime. Impacting and changing lives is more than a priority it's God's mandate to each of us.

This mandate, the call in our lives has two parts. The common call for all believers to minister, while impacting others to help and change lives. Then there is our unique call, which is based on our unique set of gifts, talents, and abilities. But how does all that play out in our. Retirement is not only a reward for past service, but also a stepping stone, a launching pad for future ministry, future fully funded ministry.

Bruce Bruinsma, the founder of the Retirement Reformation, just released his latest book in the future funded ministry series. And it's called A Fruitful Retirement: the result of a future funded ministry plan. Bruce joins us today for part one of a four-part series, talking about how your retirement years can be a fruitful return. Bruce Bruinsma, welcome back to iRetire4Him.

Bruce: Yeah, it's good to be with you. And to be able to dig into this topic for our next four sessions and to be able to find some encouragement for our listeners that that they're at those years, that that can be really fruitful,

Jim: Bruce, right off the bat, in your book, you quote Jonathan Burton from MarketWatch, when he says retirement ain't all it's cracked up to be. Many pre-retirees do not fully comprehend how dramatically their lives will change. Bruce, what have you seen? Is that statement really true?

Bruce: That statement is, I don't know if it can be more than true, but that's even, it's definitely true. And the, the expectation that we have. That the transition from a career to that next stage is going to be one of peace, tranquility, leisure, fun, no pressure less decisions. And so on that it won't be complex. That could not be further than the truth. As a matter of fact, the 30 years, and we talk about retirement and as a 30 year period, I really believe is the most complex time in the life. But because of other related growth opportunities that we have, it can also be the best 30 years of our life.

Jim: Absolutely. I mean, if you look at your retirement years, which you haven't really started the retirement years yet, but for the last 16 years of your quote unquote qualified retirement. Yeah. I don't know that you could have been any busier and God's been doing amazing things in your life.

You know, Bruce, that just reminds me, as people, prep for and get ready to retire, you say that many are suffering from retirement jitters. What are retirement jitters and why?

Bruce: Well, we get the quote unquote jitters when we are unsure of what is ahead or where you're unsure of what it is that we're walking into?

And so you're going to go you have an invitation to go to someone's home. You haven't met them before. You're going to meet some friends there and you're standing, you're walking up to that front door and you're kind of the butterflies in your stomach are not organized into a flight pattern. And so the jitters, if you wish, or the butterflies, and uncertainty about what's next.

Jim: Bruce, with so much doom and gloom in the news. First of all, I don't know why people even turn on the news anymore, but with so much doom and gloom in the news and the financial markets going up and down like a rollercoaster at Busch gardens and with inflation now skyrocketing, is it possible to be at peace with our coming retirement?

Bruce: It certainly is. And it's all based upon: do you have, do you understand what's true? Basic number two, do you have a plan on how you're going to deal with what's true? And third, do you have a relationship with Jesus and someone to talk to and be able to plug into the power of the holy spirit? Because one thing we know and we can be guaranteed is that in all of our lives, there's going to be change.

And this transition from career or from one of the other stages in retirement to If you don't have a plan, if you aren't connected to Jesus and if you don't know what's true, then having the jitters would be the natural expectation. And so you deal with it in those ways. It mean it's always going to be fun now.

Doesn't mean it's always going to be clear now, doesn't mean that it's a, that there's not going to be some confusion or, or new and strange things that you're faced with but as in all of our life that way. And so for it not to be that way, it would be really weird and strange. And so to know what's true and that's part of the heart of the Retirement Reformation.

And part of the reason why I wrote the fruitful book, the fourth book in that series was to encourage people and to help them come to grips with what's true. And then to help them to make a plan and then to be able to step into it. Now you have to read the third: Charting Your Course to really lay out that plan in a, in a meaningful way.

But the being fruitful is what God, God calls us to be. And if I can just add one more is that, you know, our verse is: you did not - Jesus speaking - you did not choose me, but I chose you. And I prepared you to be fruitful and to bear fruit that will last. So I think that's a promise we can count on.

Jim: But so many people, as you just said, you know, you've been a financial planner, a financial advisor for decades and decades, and a lot of people have done a financial plan. Very few people have had the opportunity to do like a course, like charting your course, and actually plan how they'll spend their time in retirement. But for those that are, have planned their financial future, they're all of a sudden they're going, yeah, but I didn't plan on another, a whole bunch of high inflation years in here and skyrocketing housing costs and things like that.

Bruce, how will A Fruitful Retirement, your latest book - and by the way, it's a very good book. I read a ton of books for all the shows that we do, and I absolutely loved it. How will reading A Fruitful Retirement helped me get there to that place of peace and purposefulness in my retirement years ?

Bruce: Well, first of all, it will help you deal with what is true and everything starts with that. Number one, what is true? Secondly, what is your goal? And when we have a goal of, if our, if our understanding of what it's true, and the goal that we have is, is carrying out God's plan for my life in this stage, then as I go through that process of understanding what it is and carrying it, each day when I approach that day, I'm going to be in peace about it, regardless of the conflict or the, or the changes that come around.

Hey, we've got inflation going crazy right now. I paid $4 and 89 cents for gas yesterday and filled up my tank. I mean, it's just a bummer. You take a look at the cost of electricity, cost of just about everything. So what is true is that we're going to be faced with a series of inflationary activities that are going to reduce the amount, the buying power of the money that we have.

That's true. Once we understand that's true, then we can take a look and we can say, all right, how do we need to adjust as a result of that? I have a very good friend that just decided they were going to sell their house, go to their smaller home, spend the summer there. And at the end of the summer, they'd look up and say, okay, what's next in our step.

That's a step that they decided to take. And there, there can be everything from reducing the number of times that you take your clothes to the laundry. You know, most people are totally surprised how much they spend doing that. As a matter of fact, I just calculated the other day: we spend about 250 bucks a month taken clothes to the, to the cleaners. Well, I can, I know that I can impact that by changing some of my behaviors.

Jim: You could do your own laundry, I guess you could learn how to iron even, and starch your own shirts. We're talking to Bruce Bruinsma about his latest book A Fruitful Retirement. We're going to take a break, check us out online retirementreformation.org, retirementreformation.org. Stay tuned. And our second segment time was Cynthia Ruchti who wrote a book Spouse in the House. Well, what happened when her husband retired and was home all day long? We'll be right back.

Break: Hey listeners, we would love for you to get a copy of Bruce's latest book, A Fruitful Retirement, head out to retirementreformation.org/books. You will find all of the books in the future funded ministry series there, including A Fruitful Retirement, Retirement Reformation.org/books. That's retirementreformation.org/books.

Jim: Hey, welcome back to iRetire4Him, the mouthpiece for the Retirement Reformation. As we do in every second segment of our show, we bring on somebody special to share a little bit of their story. And Bruce, it's my turn. I get to bring on the guest today. So you get to sit back and relax today. We're talking with Cynthia Ruchti. She is a - Cynthia, how many books have you written?

Cynthia Ruchti: I think it's 35, 36. Now, something like that.

Jim: And I've only read about half of those books, but one of the books that you've just recently released is Spouse in the House, and it's not a novel, I've read so many of your novels. This one is all about, well, I'm going to let you tell people. You and your friend, Becky Melby released this book together. You wrote it together because both of you are struggling with this new syndrome with your husband being home all the time. This is more of like a documentary of how you're dealing with it. What's the book all about? Tell, tell us about it.

Cynthia Ruchti: I love that you called into documentary. It's like, it's not a day in the life. It's like a life in the life and there's this period of time for, for a lot of us, which is when we come to the retirement age. But then the last couple of years it's happened to a wide segment of society where we find ourselves in tight spaces.

All together all the time, 24 7, it was originally spurred from the idea that not only were Becky and I dealing with that ourselves, but every time we would mention to, or overhear someone say he's home all the time, we would get the sea of nodding heads of women who understand. These are people they love. We love our husbands.

That's a given from the beginning and this isn't a book for marriages that are falling apart. That's another whole book. This is for marriages that are good, but all of a sudden, there's this tension because. He's home all the time. So the subtitle of the book Spouse in the House is: rearranging our attitudes to make room for one another.

Jim: Yeah. All right. So you're still working, you're still writing and honestly, people need to check you out on your own online. Do you have your own website? CynthiaRuchti.com? Okay. CynthiaRuchti.com, R U C H T I Cynthia Ruchti. You're still working, but wonder hubby got laid off and it turned into retirement that made you a member of the H H A T T club. And what does that stand for? And what's the struggle here?

Cynthia Ruchti: So he's home all the time is the hat club or the H H A T T. But we've switched that a little now, especially as Becky and I were writing this story. W H a T T, which is kind of what now what you do now, that this is the reality in our lives, because it's really we're home all the time. For me, I work from home. So even though I'm working and put in plenty of hours on what it is I do and love, now, my husband is home all the time. He does technically work a couple of days a week, but he has - they have a lot of Monday holidays, and he only works Mondays and Thursdays. So funny how many holidays fall on a Monday that he's home anyway those days, but the crisis comes - if you want to call it that - a lot of people realize that when you're expecting retirement to be this glorious blissful, we have all the time in the world now for one another, it's going to be just like when we were newlyweds.

We often hear, how do we prepare financially for retirement? We don't often hear how do we prepare our relationship for what's going to change? Even in our houses in retirement, we're bumping into each other. We're taking the last sandwich for our own lunch and it was supposed to be for supper going to be part of the supper meal, almost like having a bad college roommate sometime.

How do we navigate all that with a sense of humor, biblically, and then also in a way that is going to proactively make our relationships stronger instead of creating distance within that space of being home all the time?

Jim: The beauty of this is 20 years from now, we're going to be able to change this book and have a addition to she's home all the time, because there are a lot of guys working from home today, and we're gonna be able flip this on it because honestly, you know,I'm a guy. And I bet you're a little tough on wonder hubby. I thought it was tough. You know, I just thought you're a little tough on him.

Cynthia Ruchti: Then the book worked.

Jim: Yeah. Martha, she just, you know: what's the deal?? Okay. Is the solution that Bill just needed purpose in his life? Is that what was causing so much of the friction? So it hasn't helped that he gets out? I mean, tell us, I mean, being home all the time, what was driving you the most crazy?

Cynthia Ruchti: Okay. So our theory is that it happens all through marriage, but it's especially heightened in years of retirement. Few wives and husbands have exactly the same personality. If they do, not, not much of an interesting relationship. And so almost everybody who retires, there are differences in personality.

One wants quiet. One likes to have noise and activity around. One wants the grandchildren over every minute of every day. The other one enjoys them periodically. The one wants to be able to not have an agenda for their day. Bill is one of those people. I will ask him at breakfast. So what's on your, what's on the docket for you today? And I stopped asking the question because he never had an answer for me because he wanted to not have an assigned day. He wanted his retirement to be where he could decide as he goes along. And I'm a different kind of personality I thought yesterday about what was so exciting about today. And so we had to realize that what was different, where the tension was coming was because we're different human beings.

When God made us one flesh, he still gave us our own fingernails, our own hair follicles. Some of us. Yes.

Jim: Wow. And wow.

Cynthia Ruchti: I know, I see how I work that in. I didn't even plan that.

Jim: Yes, you did. You're such a cheese head. I'm throwing that right in. Right. That was just a mean, that was a mean anti Minnesota common right there. I just could feel it.

Cynthia Ruchti: There you go. But, but the joy of it is that it is, there is a, a natural opportunity for tension and there's a supernatural or godly opportunity for easing that tension.

Jim: Okay. It's been a couple of years though, since Bill got laid off and he's retired. Are things better? Have you guys found a rhythm?

Cynthia Ruchti: They were never awful. And that was the good thing

Jim: When I read this. I'm thinking you are getting really sick and tired of him being in the house...

Cynthia Ruchti: The joy of all of this is that there were some of those things that we just had to reintroduce the humor into the way we were looking at what was happening to us.

One real key element was that we felt that emotionally, we were tripping over each other. And, and oftentimes if a. Is dancing for instance, and they're stepping on each other's toes all the time that does not make for anything pretty. And it's going to be an unpleasant experience. So that can happen relationally and emotionally in a house too.

In our house, we had a very narrow walkway that we had lived with for decades in our home. There was a chimney in the middle of the house. The main walkway was 18 inches wide one day, rather than our colliding. Like we usually do. Yeah, my husband, who was used to saying, excuse me, added a little endearment and said, excuse me, my love. And that turned that pinch point into something that was precious to us, as opposed to being...

Jim: Just got a little R rated right here on iRetire4Him. Thank you, Cynthia, for that.

Cynthia Ruchti: My love? That's too much for you?

Jim: So I want you to speak, I want you to speak to the husbands who are finding themselves at home for the very first time on how they can take your book Spouse in the House, take this as a learning tool after they go get a copy. But speak to them. Speak a word of encouragement. Just a short word.

Cynthia Ruchti: It's not going to be automatic. If you expect that coming into retirement is going to all the little awkwardness is going to iron itself out automatically magically, that's not going to happen. We need to talk to one another. We need to realize that there are probably going to be pinch points. How are we going to deal with them? Whether that's financially or, what's our date night gonna look like now? Or when would you like to eat breakfast now that you have an option?

All of those things are going to have to be keeping that communication going, and then assuming for both men and women, that your partner isn't wrong, just different in the ways they want to maybe experience what the retirement years are like.

Jim: So then flip that on its head and speak to the ladies out there who are going through this H H A T T the hat club, they're just a new members into the hat club. They haven't had a chance to read Spouse in the House yet. Speak to those ladies.

Cynthia Ruchti: One of the things that made such a difference for me was coming to realize - I don't know how many years ago it was, but I had to come to realize that my husband wasn't just my husband and life mate, but he was my brother in Christ.

So everything in God's word that applies to relationships regarding kindness and courtesy and, and thinking the best of one another, all those things that they, God had put in his word already applied to this, applied to the marriage relationship. And forth. So for women, the, the encouragement would be, you think God has said anything about this subject?

Oh yes, he has. And so going back to that source of, we always go do, going back to his word is the place where we're going to find the tools we need. In addition to this book, in order to help navigate those waters and have it be the best it can be and, and really fulfilling years.

Jim: Spouse in the House is something everybody needs in their arsenal of books of looking at life has life changes as we enter our retirement year, Cynthia Ruchti, where's the best place for people to get a copy of your latest book Spouse in the House?

Cynthia Ruchti: Wherever books are sold, or they can also go to my website if they can't remember the exact lineup of letters for the word for the last name Ruchti, which is impossible .Cynthia Ruchti. They can also get to that same website through hemmed in hope.com. My tagline for this and marriage and everything in life is I can't unravel I'm hemmed in hope.

Jim: And we'll have a copy, a link to Cynthia's website right here in the show notes. Attached to the podcast. Spouse in the House. Get a copy. Cynthia Ruchti - thank you so much for being on iRetire4Him today.

Cynthia Ruchti: Thank you so much, Bruce and Jim.

Jim: We'll be right back with more on iRetire4Him.

Bruce: Hey listeners, we would love for you to get a copy of Bruce's latest book, A Fruitful Retirement. Head out to retirementreformation.org/books. You will find all of the books in the future funded ministry series there, including A Fruitful Retirement. Retirementreformation.org/ Books. That's retirement, reformation.org forward slash books.

Jim: Hey, welcome back to iRetire4Him. I hope you enjoyed that conversation with Cynthia Ruchti about her book Spouse in the House.

Bruce, we're talking about your latest book A Fruitful Retirement. You know, you open up chapter two saying that people can be fully alive in the sixties, they're in their sixties and their seventies and their eighties, and even their nineties today, where just a century ago, the life expectancy was a mere 58 years old. How does this longevity revolution impact our ability to have A Fruitful Retirement?

Bruce: You know, if, if you just kind of think back of, of anything that you didn't know how to do. And then you met a friend and they knew how to do it. And they kind of mentored you in over a period of time. You became as skilled as they were in what it is that, that you were doing.

You, you learned it. And so the, the benefit, one of the benefits of longevity is that we have a time where we can learn how to live in these senior year. We can learn by the books. You can buy books I've written and others, you can learn by listening to our podcast and experiencing that you can observe what others do.

And so the longevity gives us an opportunity to learn and then to be able to apply those lessons in our lives. And if we learn and apply them and listen to what God is saying to us, in fact, we can have a joyful period. That is evidenced by the freedom that we have and what it in the, in what it is that we've learned in those prior years.

Jim: Yeah. It's funny. Bruce's a lot of, a lot of how we learn about life is from our parents, but most of us didn't have parents that lived to be... well, I did. I'm a little bit younger, but my parents didn't have parents that lived to be 60, 70, 80, 90 years old. And their parents didn't. So it's not like the people that are retired today, have a lot of people they can look to for what does it look like to live, to be 70, 80, 90, or even a hundred?

I mean, there's a huge growing wave of people over a hundred years old, Betty White, she lived to be 99 and you know, 10 months or something like that was, I mean, come on. I mean, imagine what she saw.

Bruce: So, you know, that's, that's the reason why there is the need for the Retirement Reformation and these dialogues that we are having together. And, and to be able to learn from each other, because we don't have a lot of models because there isn't a lot of experience. And when there isn't, then it makes the, the, those who have the experience and are able and willing to share it that much more valuable to be able to, as we talked about in the prior. So, to be able to understand what's coming and what's true.

Jim: Okay. So how does, knowing that we're going to live long lives in decades in our retirement - how does that impact our ability to make a difference and to live with purpose during our fully funded ministry, years of retirement? I think it, I think you say it best when you ask what are you gonna do with all those years?

Bruce: Those are the, that is the question in the, in the first division, in that, in the, in the answering that question comes from, are you going to continue to buy into what culture says retirement is, or are you going to buy into as best we can interpret what God intends for us and to be able to have an opportunity to really find meaning and purpose the difference between what culture says and what the Bible says? And what Retirement Reformation is, messaging is in fact, the difference between a meaning and purpose and leisure. And that's where the first decision gets made. Am I going to be dedicated to leisure? Am I going to be dedicated to meaning and purpose and have some leisure in the midst of it?

That's not unimportant. It's like taking a vacation. Is that important? Yeah. You bet. But finding meaning and purpose, which will bring you joy and freedom in all those different stages is that's that first decision about what are you going to follow is really critical.

Jim: What I love best in your book, as you did a great job, just finding lots of examples of, of people and you covered Randall Cunningham a football player, and you say Randall Cunningham is struggling and suffering from a disease we call unretirement. Actually I added that word. You didn't call it a disease, but you called it unretirement that he's had several bouts of unretirement, which I said, it's like a disease. Explain this to me. These bouts of unretirement.

Bruce: Well, we have a classic example, staying with a football area of, of Tom Brady who went through this whole big deal about retiring a few months ago. And now he is unretiring.

Jim: I hadn't heard that yet. I mean, it was, he was retiring from the Tampa bay Buccaneers. Did he go back? I hadn't heard that. Breaking news right here on iRetire4Him!

Bruce: All right. So, you know, one of the things that happens when we, when we learn something, is that when we learn it or discover it then, and we are taking steps that will be out of pattern with that understanding, sometimes we got to back up and rechange and go again, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I've got a couple of friends who in their retirement bought into the message that they wanted to find some meaning and purpose. It took some steps into some different areas, and finally they weren't the right ones. So they went back to the couch for a little while and they said, well, I think a better give it another go. And so they started down another direction, something happened and that didn't work out well. They went back to the couch and said, you know, I think I better give it another go. So perseverance is one of those keys that's important.

So they, then the third attempt, and in that third attempt, man, they found a thing that they're passionate about and that, you know, when their feet hit the floor in the morning, when the alarm clock goes off or they wake up that's what they're thinking about and they're ready to go. And so, but it, it takes some exploration, and it takes, perhaps some things that you're going to try and then back off from, or things you're going to try and call it failure if you wish, but, but it's not working out. And that's okay.

Jim: My mom was a teacher. In her late fifties after she retired, she went back and got her master's degree in Christian counseling and did Christian counseling for another 25 years and just loved it.

There's so many opportunities out there. I mean, it's just really important that we just tell everybody life is not over. When you retire, the, the horizons are unlimited where you can go, what you can do. So when people struggle with these bouts of unretirement, who do you think is living a more fruitful retirement, Randall Cunningham, or someone sitting at home watching movies, drinking, iced tea, and playing pickleball?

Bruce: Clearly, literally Randall Cunningham because he persevered that. I know that there is, you know, this calling now. It is even possible that just like in a, in a career, you don't stay necessarily with the same company for 30 years. You may, but you may have, you may change jobs every three, four or five years.

Well, why is it going to be any different in circumstances? Maybe the some difference, but why isn't that the same kind of an idea that during retirement? Sometimes I'm going to find something I'm passionate about it. I'm going to do it till the very end. Sometimes it's going to be for a period and then there's going to be another option. Give yourself the freedom to change, to make choices. To experiment.

Jim: Hmm. Great advice, Bruce. Where can people get a copy of your latest book, A Fruitful Retirement?

Bruce: Well, you can go to amazon.com and, and pick it up from Amazon. That's easy or you can go to our website and the website is retirementreformation.org. So there's a couple of places that you can get it. And hopefully it will be helpful to you, as I say, in the. You know, you might want to read the first three first, but if you start only with one, this is a good one to start with.

Jim: I would agree. They're all fantastic. And just a great layup for retirement, prepping for retirement or being in retirement or resetting in retirement, or unretiring in retirement. Bruce Bruinsma, thanks for being today with us on, iRetire4Him and for introducing your latest book A Fruitful Retirement.

Bruce: Well, I'm glad that we can be fruitful together.

Jim: Yeah. You've been listening to IRetire4Him. The mouthpiece of the Retirement Reformation with your hosts, Jim Brangenberg and Retirement Reformations founder, Bruce Bruinsma. We're Christ followers, journeying from retirement to reformation, so we can ultimately say iRetire4Him,

Outro: Thanks for listening to iRetire4Him with your host, Jim and Martha Brangenberg. And Retirement Reformation founder, Bruce Bruinsma. IRetire4Him is the mouthpiece of the Retirement Reformation. Most Christians tend to follow the world's pattern of rest and self pampering during retirement.

However, in your retirement, you can be focused on God's unique call to love, serve and help others. This can be your best season of life. If you take advantage of a life's worth of knowledge and experience. And combine it with a greater freedom of time and money and invest it all in the generations, both preceding and following you.

The Retirement Reformation is encouraging Christians to find and follow God's call in all seasons and aspects of life. Especially in retirement. Take time to sign the manifesto at retirementreformation.org and explore the wealth of resources available on our site. Join this movement of God and journey from retirement to reformation.

So you can say, iRetire4Him. Go to retirement, reformation dot O R G.