What's more stressful than raising kids? Raising ADULT kids. There doesn't seem to be much out there that takes this season of life head on.  I have never had someone offer to come alongside me during this season, with this particular sticky space in my life.  For me (parent of one 19 year old), the best I can come up with is to shift to "Godly Coach-Mom".  A coach is someone who is your cheerleader, tells you what they honestly see, encourages you and pushes you to be the best.

The professional executive and life coaching industry (of which I have been a part of for 30+ years) has had a mantra over the past several decades that keeps playing in my mind about this. 

"Never want more for the client then they want for themselves." 

How hard is THAT?  To not want more for your child then they do for themselves?  The Godly part includes: not being your child's Holy Spirit (letting them own their own relationship with Christ), but modeling, praying and then asking Godly questions that lead them back to Christ in a particular situation.  In a radio show recently, Jim and Martha came to the conclusion that two things work best regarding their adult children: pray for our adult children (unceasingly), and ask them good questions. If they're adults, we have to treat them like adults, and shift from telling them what to do, to coming alongside and trusting and encouraging their ability to think and make wise decisions. Too many parents today are making the nest too comfortable, so the kids don't want to leave.  Who can blame them?  We have to seek God's will and our own hearts, to ensure we are not enabling irresponsibility or dependency.  We also need to trust God with their lives. He has them, and He has a plan for them.  I often cling to Jeremiah 29:11 in these times:

11 For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

God bless your shift to Godly Coach-Parent!

Caroline Mendez